Question:
what is a really good joke to tell? [blonde, yo momma, whatever]?
IDNTGIVASHT
2006-05-09 19:07:12 UTC
something VERY funny!!
Four answers:
vlaundon2002
2006-05-14 11:54:52 UTC
There was a Mirror of Truth that if you stood in front of it and told a lie it would suck you into it never to be seen again.



A very ugly man stood in front of it at declared.. "Mirror of Truth.. I think I'm the handsomest man alive" and..."Swoooop"! he was sucked in.



Then a very Fat man stood in front of the mirror and declared..."Mirror of Truth. I think I'm the skinniest man around..." and "Swooop" he was also sucked in.



Then a Blonde woman stood in front of the mirror and declared: "Mirror of Truth...I think...."Swoooop"!
X
2006-05-10 02:23:14 UTC
Blonde Jokes:



The Top 10 Dumb Blonde Inventions (11-18, I made Up and Found On Internet):



1) Waterproof Towel

2) Solar-Powered Flashlight

3) Submarine Screen Door

4) A Book On How To Read

5) Inflatable Dart Board

6) Dictionary Index

7) Helicopter Ejector Seat

8) Powdered Water

9) Designer Camouflage

10) Waterproof Tea Bag

11) Wireless Dog Leash

12) Silent Car Alarm

13) Glass Hammer

14) Brick Window

15) See-Through Swimsuit

16) Pet Rock

17) Wooden Soap

18) Pedal-Powered Wheel Chair



More Jokes:



Q: How do blonde brain cells die ?

A: Alone.





Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?

A: Blow in her ear.



Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?

A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!



Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?

A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.



Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?

A: She was run over by the zamboni machine.



Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?

A: Tell her she's pregnant.



Q: How does a blond spell farm?

A: E-I-E-I-O



Q: How does a blond kill a fish?

A: She drowns it.



Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?

A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.



Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.



Q: What do you call a blonde golfer with an iq of 125?

A: a foursome.



Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law?

A: An air bag.



Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.



Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.



Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?

A: Because it said 'concentrate'.



Q: Why did the blonde take two hits of acid?

A: She wanted to go on a round trip.



Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?

A: She thought it was diet coke.



Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days?

A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.



Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?

A: The noise gave her a headache.



Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?

A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.



Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.



Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?

A: They don't know the route.



Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?

A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.



Q: What is the difference between a dead blonde in the road, and a dead skunk in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.



Q: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?

A: Elvis has been sighted.



Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?

A: Some traffic signs say stop.



Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?

A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.



Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?

A: She turned it over and used the other side.



Q: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra?

A: Thanks for the refill.



Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?

A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.



Q: How do you plant dope?

A: Bury a blonde.



Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

A: Wave to her.



Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?

A: With a tire gauge!



Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.



Q: How do you kill a blonde?

A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.



Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?

A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.



Q: How do you drown a blond?

A: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.



Q: How does a blonde high-5?

A: She smacks herself in the forehead.



Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?

A: Flattered.



Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?

A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.



Q: What can save a dying blonde?

A: Hair transplants.



Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?

A: Third Grade.



Q: What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?

A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.



Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?

A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.



Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?

A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.



Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

A: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.



Q: What's six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?

A: A hundred dollar bill.



Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ?

A: Tell them a joke on Friday night !



Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: You don't. They're born that way.



Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?

A: They're too hard to peel.



Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?

A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.



Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?

A: Proofreading.



Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?

A: For throwing out the W's.



Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?

A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.



Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)



Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?

A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.



Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of the pool?

A: Air pockets.



Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?

A: "Space. The final frontier......"



Q: What's brown and red and black and blue?

A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.



Q: How does the blonde car pool work?

A: They all meet at work at 7:45.



Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up!



Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?

A: They always forget the recipe.



Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?

A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.



Q: Did you hear about the new epidemic among blondes?

A: It's called MAIDS - if the don't get one, they die.



Q: Did you hear about the blond that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds?

A: She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord.



Q: Did you hear about the blonde that almost caused a wreck?

A: The spare tire in her trunk blew out.



Q: Did you hear bout the blonde who couldn't wait to see "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea"?

A: She said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams.



Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?

A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.



Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?

A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.



Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?

A: She fell out of the tree.



Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?

A: One.



Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?

A: She didn't know what ONE came first...



Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?

A: Divorced.



Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?

A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!



Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?

A: She threw it off a cliff.



Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

A: She fell out of the tree.



Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on her.



Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?

A: Bobbing for french fries.



Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?

A: There's white-out on the screen.



Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?

A: She has a checkbook.



Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?

A: There is a stamp on it.



Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?

A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.



Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?

A: Lipstick.



Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

A: You can park in the handicap zone.



Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?

A: It takes too long to retrain them.



Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?

A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."



Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?

A: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.

or A: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.



Q: Why do men like blonde jokes??

A: Because they can understand them.



Q: Why do blondes like lightning?

A: They think someone is taking their picture.



Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?

A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!



Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?

A: From eating with forks.



Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A: Because they can spell it.



Q: What does the postcard from a blond's vacation say?

A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?



Q: Why do blondes drive VW's ?

A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!



Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?

A: To cover up the valve stem.



Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?

A: Toes go in first.



Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!



Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?

A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.



Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?

A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.



Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?

A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.



Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?

A: They can't remember the number.

or A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.



Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?

A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.



Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?

A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.



Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: "What's a lightbulb?"

or A: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

or A: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"



Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?

A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"



Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?

A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde. A2: None of them, two don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.



Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?

A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.



Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?

A: Bigfoot has been spotted.



Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?

A: Reservations.



Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?

A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?



Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?

A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.



Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.



Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in his/her ear?

A: "Thanks for the refill!"



Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?

A: Last years hide and go seek winner.



Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?

A: A whine cellar.



Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?

A: Air bubbles.



Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?

A: An air mattress.



Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?

A: An Air Bag.



Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?

A: A mental block.



Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?

A: A wind tunnel.



Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?

A: A dope ring.



Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?

A: Divorcee'



Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

A: Pregnant.



Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?

A: A visitor.



Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A: Gifted!



Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?

A: An interpreter.



Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

A: Frosted Flakes.



Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?

A: A Space Invader.



Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?

A: Branch Manager.



Q: What do you call a smart blond?

A: A golden retriever.



Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?

A: The inside of the back of her head.



Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?

A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do...



Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?

A: Artificial intelligence.



Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and throw it back.



Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They're both empty from the neck up.



Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?

A: They both have black roots.



Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?



Q: What do you call a pimple on a blonde's butt?

A: A brain tumor.



Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?

A: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the M&Ms.



Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?

A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."



Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?

A: I don't know.

Q: Neither did she.



Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?

A: To see what was on the other side.



Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?

A: Too many blondes were drowning.



Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?

A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".



Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?

A: In case she locks the keys in her car.



Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.



Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?

A: To turn the blinker off.



Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.



Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?

A: To see what was on the other side.



Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veteranarian?

A: Because she loved children.



Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?

A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.



Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?

A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.



Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.



Q: Why does it work?

A: "Does 3 come before E, between M and W, or at the end?"



Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?

A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!



Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?

A: She missed the Earth!



Q: What did the Blonde get on her A.C.T.?

A: Nail polish!



Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?

A: The vegetable garden.



Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?

A: One.



Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?

A: Far-from-thinkin



Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?

A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.



Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?

A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"



Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?

A: Spot.



Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?

A: Air Supply.



Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling ?

A: A blond electrician



Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?

A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.



Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?

A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.



Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?

A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.



Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?

A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!



Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?

A: The Air Pump!



Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?

A: Peroxide.



Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?

A: Data transfer.



Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a grocery cart.

A: A grocery cart has a mind of its own.



Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?

A: After a dye job.



Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?

A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.



Q: If an blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who would die first?

A: The brunette -- because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.



Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?

A: Grade 4.



Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?

A: 144 blondes.



Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?

A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"



Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?

A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".



Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist?

A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.



Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?

A: It swells at night.



Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"

A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"



Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.

A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."



Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?

A: She moved.



Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?

A: A blonde parade.



Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?

A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.



Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?

A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.



Q: A guy asked his blonde wife "how did you get the car in the living room"?

A: She said "I drove it through the kitchen and took a left."



Q: Someone asked if a blonde believed in smoking.

A: She said "Yes, I've seen it done."





Did you hear about the blonde who:

was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean?

took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?

was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient?

thought nitrates were cheaper than day rates?

after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?

brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?



Any of these funny?
anonymous
2006-05-10 02:10:32 UTC
The only reason your momma wears tampons is so her crabs can bungee jump!!!!
anonymous
2006-05-10 02:11:38 UTC
Yo Mamma's so fat when I have sex with her I have to slap her *** and ride the wave in.





Yo Mamma's so fat when she put high heels she struct oil!





Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up





Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.





Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise





Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone





Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors





Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her...





Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world





Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy





Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!





Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"





Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"





Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized





Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway





Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller





Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets





Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th





Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"





Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!





Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"





Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.





Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.





Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.





Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!





Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!





Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!





Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...





Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.





Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!





Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!





Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!





Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!





Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.





Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!





Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!





Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!





Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!





Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!





Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!





Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!





Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!





Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!





Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!





Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!





Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!





Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!





Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!





Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!





Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!





Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!





Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!





Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.





Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"





Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!





Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!





Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th





Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too





Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please





Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!





Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!





Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.





Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.





Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping





Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.





Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.





Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.





Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.





Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.





Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.





Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.





Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.





Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.





Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.





Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!





Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.





Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her





Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.





Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.





Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.





Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family





Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through





Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.





Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.





Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.





Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.





Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!





Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.





Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water





Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out





Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth





Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures





Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.





Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.





Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.





Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.





Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.





Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....





Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.





Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.





Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.





Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.





Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.





Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"





Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!





Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.





Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.







Yo mama so fat, she put on a red outfit and people mistaked her for the Kool-Aid man.





yo mamma so fat she plays frisbee with ufo's





Yo mamma so fat, someone tries to take a picture of her with a digital camera and it read "Not Enough Space"





Yo mamma so fat her belt size is equator!





Yo mamma so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday!





Yo mamma so fat, she has all the caterers on speed dial!





Yo mamma so fat, she plays pool with the planets!





Yo mamma so fat, she say on a rainbow and skittles popped out!





Yo mamma fo fat, she bit into a school bus and said where's the cream filling.





yo mamma so fat she sat on a skittle and a rainbow popped out.





yo mamma so fat she sat on a dollar and made change. yo mamma so fat she went to 7/11 and didn't come back till 12:15.





yo mamma so fat i ran around her twice and I got lost.





yo mamma so fat when she wears a pink shirt people say "Look it's a giant Starburst".





yo mamma so fat she sat on the Bible and Jesus popped out.





yo mamma so fat she sat on the Bible and Moses popped out.



yo mamma so old when she was a kid there was no old spice, it was called baby spice.



yo mama so old she sat behind jesus in the third grade



yo mamma so old she pee'd the great lakes!



Yo mama's so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.





Yo mama's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.





Yo mama's so old, she has all the apostles in her black book.





Yo mama's so old, she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.





Yo mama's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.





Yo mama's so old, she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers.





Yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.





Yo mama's so old, her memory is in black and white.





Yo mama's so old, she has a Jesus Starter jacket.





Yo mama's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda.





Yo mama's so old, she baby-sat for Jesus.





Yo mama's so old, her social security number is 1.





Yo mama's so old, when the police asked her for her ID, she gave them a rock.





Yo mama's so old, her birth-certificate expired.





Yo mama's so old, her birth-certificate is in Roman numerals.





Yo mama's so old, she ran track with dinosaurs.





Yo mama's so old, she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.





Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.





Yo mama's so old, she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.





Yo mama's so old, she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.





Yo mama's so old, she knew Mr. Clean when he had an afro.





Yo mama's so old, she owes Jesus a nickel.





Yo mama's so old, she owes Moses a quarter.





Yo mama's so old, she's got Jesus' beeper number.





Yo mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.





Yo mama's so old, when God said "Let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.





Yo mama's so old, when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.





Yo mama's so old, when she reads the bible she reminisces.





Yo mama's so old, she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.





Yo mama's so old, she planted the first tree at Central Park.





Yo mama's so old, her birthday expired.





Yo mama's so old, she has Adam & Eve's autographs.





Yo mama's so old, she got slapped by Eve for blowing Adam.





Yo mama's so old, she took friendship pictures with Adam & Eve.





Yo mama's so old, she co-wrote the Ten Commandments.





Yo mama's so old, she got the first copy of the Ten Commandments.





Yo mama's so old, she has an autographed bible.





Yo mama's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake.





Yo mama's so old, she farts out mummy dust.





Yo mama's so old, she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.





Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.





Yo mama's so old, she knew Cap'n Crunch while he was still a private.





Yo mama's so old & ugly, her name is Ape.





Yo mama's so old, when she was young rainbows were black and white.





Yo mama's so old, she called the cops when David and Goliath started to fight.





Yo mama's so old and fat that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat *** out of the way.





Yo mama's so old, she watches PBS.





Yo mama's so old, she's got a pair of Air Moses sneakers.





Yo mama's so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.





Yo mama's so old, when I slapped her on the back her **** fell off.





Yo Mamma So Old she wore air Jesus'.





Yo Mamma's so old, her boobs look like bungie chords.



Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry!





Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.





Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.





Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.





Yo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!





Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.





Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.





Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.





Yo mama's so ugly, well.. look at you!





Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like you.





Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.





Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.





Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."





Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.





Yo mama's so ugly, when the terminator said "I'll be back" he left running.





Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.





Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.





Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.





Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a track cleat.





Yo mama's so ugly, she's uugly. I had to add another u `cause u is ugly too!





Yo Mamma is so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.





Yo Mamma is so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail-order.





Yo Mamma is so ugly, her pillow cries at night.





Yo Mamma is so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.





Yo Mamma is so ugly, her shadow quit.





Yo Mamma is so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.





Yo Mamma is so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!





Yo Mamma is so ugly, Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant.





Yo Mamma is so ugly, even the tide won't come back in.





Yo Mamma is so ugly, even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."





Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she masturbates she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she takes her bra off she looks like she has four big toes.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her ***, then her face, and said "Twins!"





Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked everyone.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, her mama saw the afterbirth and said "Twins."





Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked the wrong end.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.





Yo mama's so ugly, when she went camping, the park ranger was like "Hey Yogi!"





Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.





Yo mama's so ugly, when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"





Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.





Yo mama's so ugly, yo dad first met her at the pound.





Yo mama's so ugly, yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.





Yo mama's so ugly, yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye.





Yo mama's so ugly, yo father's breath smells like **** 'cause he'd rather kiss her ***.





Yo mama's so ugly, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies.





Yo mama's so ugly, your real pops could only be a ******' dog.





yo mamma so ugly she's like a criss cross between male and female





yo mammas so ugly, she has to sneak up on a glass of water.





yo mammas so ugly, she stuck her face out the window and got arrested for mooning



Yo mama's so stupid, she peals M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies.





Yo mama's so stupid, she uses Old Spice for cooking.





Yo mama's so stupid, she threw a rock the ground and missed.





Yo mama's so stupid, her breasts are square cuz she forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.





Yo mama's so stupid, she sat on the TV & watched the couch.





Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought St. Ides was a Catholic church.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought St. Ides was an island in the Caribbean.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.





Yo mama's so stupid, the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth.





Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the Gap to get her teeth fixed.





Yo mama's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.





Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.





Yo mama's so stupid, she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!"





Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to throw a bird off a cliff.





Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown a fish.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought menopause was a button on the VCR.





Yo mama's so stupid, when she worked at McDonald's and someone ordered small fries, she said "Hey Boss, all the small one's are gone."





Yo mama's so stupid, her shirt says TGIF- **** go in first.





Yo mama's so stupid, her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front.





Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.





Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were gas she wouldn't have enough to power a flea-mobile around the inside of a Froot Loop.





Yo mama's so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and got toilet paper.





Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her if she wanted to play one on one, she said "Ok, but what's the teams?"





Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to melt squeeze Parkay.





Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.





Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.





Yo mama's so stupid, I said give me a quarterback and she gave me Dan Marino.





Yo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.





Yo mama's so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change.





Yo mama's so stupid, she ran outside with a purse because she heard there was change in the weather.





Yo mama's so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade.





Yo mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.





Yo mama's so stupid, she wouldn't know up from down if she had three guesses.





Yo mama's so stupid, when her husband lost his marbles she bought him new ones.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the internet was something you catch fish with.





Yo mama's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.





Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she could get food stamps at the post office.





Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown herself in a carpool.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court.





Yo mama's so stupid, when the judge said "Order in the court," she said "I'll have a hamburger and a Coke."





Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Burger King and thought she was a queen.





Yo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.





Yo mama's so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."





Yo mama's so stupid, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.





Yo mama's so stupid, she had Dan Quayle check her spelling.





Yo mama's so stupid, when asked what a pronoun was, she said a noun that gets paid.





Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!





Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!





Yo mama's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.





Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.





Yo mama's so stupid, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F, and sometimes Wednesday too."





Yo mama's so stupid, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line, she put "O.K."





Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people.





Yo mama's so stupid, you can tell when she's used the computer because there's White Out all over the screen.





Yo mama's so stupid, she got a part time job painting skittles.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks stereotype is the brand on her clock-radio.





Yo mama's so stupid, she can't make Jello because she can't fit 2 quarts of water in the bix.





Yo mama's so stupid, you can make her eyes twinkle by shining light in her ears.





Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.





Yo mama's so stupid, when she went by the YMCA she said "Hey, they spelled MACY's wrong."





Yo mama's so stupid, on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.





Yo mama's so stupid, she asked for a price check at the dollar store.





Yo mama's so stupid, when she pulls up to a flashing red light it sounds like this... Vroom, Screech, Vroom, Screech.





Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.





Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.





Yo mama's so stupid when she asked me what kinda jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levis?"





Yo mama's so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up.





Yo mama's so stupid, she said "what's that letter after x" and I said Y she said "Cause I wanna know".





Yo mama's so stupid, she took lessons for a player piano.





Yo mama's so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus.





Yo mama's so stupid, the ***** snuck on the bus and paid to get off.





Yo mama's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.





Yo mama's so stupid, she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1"





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.





Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to insult you and started with "Yo mama's..."





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.





Yo mama's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.





Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her about X-Men she said "Sure, there's Harry my first baby daddy, Willy the guy I see on Thursdays..."





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.





Yo mama's so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.





Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Wu-Tang is an orange flavored drink.





Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.





Yo mama's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.





Yo mama's so stupid, her idea of safe sex is locking the car doors.





Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.





Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.





Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.





Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought asphalt was a skin disease.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority.





Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.





Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.





Yo mama's so stupid, she married Yo daddy.





Yo mama's so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.





Yo mama's so stupid, she gave your uncle a ******* 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.





Yo mama's so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.





Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from a ********.





Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.





Yo mama's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the ***** since.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass.





Yo mama's so stupid, she put a peephole in a glass door.





Yo mama's so stupid, when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved.





Yo mama's so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater.





Yo mama's so stupid, she wiped her *** before she took a ****.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.





Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.





Yo mama's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911".





Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample.





Yo mama's so stupid, I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.





Yo mama's so stupid, she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car.





Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.





Yo mama's so stupid, she got shot running the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.





Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."





Yo mama's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.





Yo mama's so stupid, she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum.





Yo mama's so stupid, she got on her knees to drink her "Nehi" peach drink.





Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store.





Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.





Yo mama's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.





Yo mama's so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.





Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done.





Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.





Yo mama's so stupid, she fell up the stairs.





Yo mama's so stupid, she went on Double Dare and when they asked her name she said "I think I'll take the physical challenge."





Yo Mamma So Stupid, she tripped over a cell phone





Yo mama's so poor, when I rang the doorbell she leaned out the window and said "DING!"





Yo mama's so poor, the mat on her front porch says "Wel "





Yo mama's so poor, I saw her doing headspins on a Cheerios box in front of Goodwill for a piece of Wonder bread.





Yo mama's so poor, she's got more furniture on her porch than in her house.





Yo mama's so poor, she has to wear her McDonald's uniform to church.





Yo mama's so poor, she has to do drive-by shootings on the bus.





Yo mama's so poor, I asked her what's for dinner and she pulled out a gun and said "Next one who moves!"





Yo mama's so poor, when I was taking family portraits for you and said "Cheese!" she went looking for the line.





Yo mama's so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Ain't you ever seen a mobile home?"





Yo mama's so poor, I saw her wrestling a squirrel for a peanut.





Yo mama's so poor, the closest thing to a car she has is a low-rider shopping cart with a box on it.





Yo mama's so poor, she can't even put her two cents in this conversation.





Yo mama's so poor, when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said "Hey miss, lost a shoe?" she said "Nope, just found one!"





Yo mama's so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."





Yo mama's so poor, her BOSS pants are unemployed.





Yo mama's so poor, I lit a match in her house and the roaches started singing "Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord 'cause we got heat!"





Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house, two roaches tripped me and a rat stole my wallet.





Yo mama's so poor, I went to her house and tore down some cob webs, and she said "Who's tearing down the drapes?"





Yo mama's so poor, the bank repossesed her cardboard box.





Yo mama's so poor, she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box.





Yo mama's so poor, she sits on the corner with a bunch of roaches singin' "We are family!"





Yo mama's so poor, when I saw her rolling some trash cans around in an alley, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Remodeling."





Yo mama's so poor, I threw a rock at a trash can and she popped out and said "Who knocked?"





Yo mama's so poor, I saw her shaking a can around and asked her what she was doing and she said "Redecorating."





Yo mama's so poor, I came over for dinner and saw 3 beans on the table, I took one and she said "Don't be greedy."





Yo mama's so poor, I came over for dinner and she read me recipes.





Yo mama's so poor, she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.





Yo mama's so poor, she has to take the trash IN.





Yo mama's so poor, she lives in a two story Dorrito bag with a dog named Chip.





Have you heard the story about the old lady that lived in a shoe? Well Yo mama is so poor, she lives in a flip flop.





Yo mama's so poor, I went through her front door and ended up in the back yard.





Yo mama's so poor, her front and back doors are on the same hinge.





Yo mama's so poor, I went through her front door and tripped over the back fence.





Yo mama's so poor, her doormat doesn't say "Welcome," it says "Welfare."





Yo mama's so poor, when I stepped on her doormat she said "Hey, you can't go upstairs."





Yo mama's so poor, I stepped on her skateboard and she said "Hey, get off the car!"





Yo mama's so poor, I went into her house and saw a bunch of cockroaches sittin' around the toilet singin' "We are family!"





Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house and stepped on a cigarette butt and she said, "Hey, who turned off the heater?"





Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and Yo Mama said, "Who turned off the lights?"





Yo mama's so poor, I went into her house and flushed a cockroach down the toilet and she said, "Hey, where'd Grandma go?"





Yo mama's so poor, when I went to use her bathroom, I saw a roach sitting on a Pepsi can talkin' `bout "Wait your turn!"





Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she gave me two sticks. I asked her what the sticks were for and she said "One's to hold up the ceiling, the other is to fight off the roaches."





Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she said "3rd tree to your right."





Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she handed me a shovel and said "May the force be with you."





Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she said "Two buckets to your left."





Yo mama's so poor, she watches TV on an Etch-A-Sketch.





Yo mama's so poor, your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.





Yo mama's so poor, they put her picture on food stamps.





Yo mama's so poor, she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it airconditioning.





Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.





Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.





Yo mama's so poor, when she heard about the last supper, she thought she ran out of food stamps.





Yo mama's so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.





Yo mama's so poor, TV dinner trays are her good china.





Yo mama's so poor, when I went over to her house for dinner and grabbed a paper plate, she said "Don't use the good china!"





Yo mama's so poor, she married young just to get the rice!





Yo mama's so poor, burglars break in and leave money.





Yo mama's so poor, people rob her house for practice.





Yo mama's so poor, the only time she smelled hot food was when a rich man farted!





Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford free cookies from the supermarket.





Yo mama's so poor, when Yo family watches TV, they go to Sears.





Yo mama's so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.





Yo mama's so poor, she put a thirstbuster on layaway with food stamps.





Yo mama's so poor, she put free samples on layaway.





Yo mama's so poor, she got arrested for breaking the gum-ball machine because it didn't take food-stamps.





Yo mama’s so poor, I walked into her house, asked what was for dinner, so she lit my pockets on fire and said "Hot Pockets."





Yo mama's so poor, she has a wooden beeper and when it goes off, it goes (Now you knock on something wood)





Yo mama's so poor, when I sat on the couch a roach said "Get the hell off! I pay rent."





Yo mama's so poor, when I asked what was for dinner, she pulled her shoelaces off and said "Spagetti."





Yo mama's so poor, after I pissed in your yard, she thanked me for watering the lawn.





Yo mama's so poor, even the republicans were willing to give her welfare.





Yo mama's so po, she can't even afford the last two letters.



yo momma so when she saw a penny on the floor she said "son we won the lottery"







Yo Mamma's so poor, she found a lit cigarette on the ground, and said, "Hey Kids claps your and stomp your feet, praise the lord we got come heat!"


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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