Question:
Who has any jokes?
anonymous
2007-02-12 16:45:00 UTC
Who has any jokes?
26 answers:
bubbles
2007-02-12 16:47:58 UTC
you clearly don't
tylerbrickley
2007-02-12 16:52:47 UTC
This guy walks into the bar and sits down to slam some beers. He talks to the bartender and explains how he's happy because he had his first bj(*******) that night. The bartender says congratulations and gives him another beer. So time goes on and within a couple hours, he has about 7 beers. The bartender asks him if he wants another beer and the man says, nah I dont think the eigth one will get the taste out of my mouth either. LOL
?
2016-05-01 23:07:41 UTC
Learning to be a grasp of pulling portraits is easy with the aid of Realistic Pencil Portrait Mastery guide from here https://tr.im/8Clsh .

With Realistic Pencil Portrait Mastery guide you will got that called Session Brain Maps and each with this lesson is sold with what're named “Process” or “Mind” maps. These are essentially outline summaries of that which was covered in each of the lessons.

With Realistic Pencil Portrait Mastery you will even obtain 100 Large Resolution Research Images since if you will exercise your picture drawing, then you are likely to need guide pictures. This bonus contains 100 good quality black and bright images made up of 70 encounters and 30 skin features. Very useful!
anonymous
2007-02-12 16:49:16 UTC
A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Faluijiah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious.

On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and

alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.



The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent".

We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein is a miserable, lowlife scumbag,

and he yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a good-for-nothing, fat, left wing liberal drunk". So I said that "Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts

like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian"! He retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, so does Hillary Clinton".



And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.
anonymous
2014-09-17 15:54:48 UTC
Well

If you want to discover the secrets of drawing realistic pencil portraits you really need to visit this site: http://pencilportraits.toptips.org



These drawing lessons, both throughly enjoyable and productive, go well beyond casual sketching: students learn to observe minutely the details of any given face, to see what is, and what is not, before them, and how to translate what they see into what are after all just pencil marks on paper.



I highly recommend it for both the experienced and the inexperienced artists alike.

Cheers.
Flaze
2007-02-12 16:51:35 UTC
An elephant, a monkey, a weasel, a zebra, an antelope, a dinosaur, a mammoth, a penguin, a crocodile, an ant eater, a gorilla, a baboon, a girapphe, a panda and a bonobo monkey all sheltered under an umbrella. Who got wet?



None of them, it wasn't raining.



Hurrah.
Polo
2007-02-12 16:50:36 UTC
Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients but felt really guilty about it all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.

The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming but once in a while he'd hear a reassuring voice inside him say "Dave, you wouldn't be the first doctor to sleep with one of the patients and you won't be the last plus you're single so just let it go.

But invariably there would be the other voice that would bring him back to reality whispering...

"But Dave you're a Vet".
chequer
2007-02-12 16:57:31 UTC
I am a newcomer to Yahoo and would like to know how to post a joke and what 'Send IM'

means
Chris W
2007-02-12 16:53:40 UTC
Whats the difference between an egg &flicking the bean?











You can beat an egg!!!!!













Whats the differencebetween light & hard?











You can sleep with a light on!!!
Garbo's snowflake
2007-02-13 10:02:12 UTC
WICOE (Women In Charge Of Everything) is proud to announce

the opening of its "EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!"



The course covers two days, and topics covered include:



DAY ONE



HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS. Step by step guide with slide

presentation.



TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable

discussion.



DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR. Practicing with

hamper (Pictures and graphics).



DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR

DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among a panel of experts.



REMOTE CONTROL. Losing the remote control - Help line and

support groups.



LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS. Starting with looking in the

right place instead of turning the house upside down while

screaming - Open forum.



DAY TWO



EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE

TRASH? Group discussion and role play.



HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR

HEALTH. PowerPoint presentation.



REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST. Real life testimonial

from the one man who did.



IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL

PARKS? Driving simulation.



LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER

AND YOUR PARTNER. Online class and role playing.



HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION. Relaxation exercises,

meditation and breathing techniques.



REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO

BE LATE. Bring your calendar or PDA to class.



GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL

THE TIME.
THE VIOLATER
2007-02-12 21:11:30 UTC
Why is a pork pie like a pensioners fanny?????



coz u have to bite out the crust and lick out the jelly b4 u get 2 the meat!!!!!!!!
Juan Carlos R
2007-02-12 16:50:41 UTC
A guy said:

-baby, let's play a game. I put on a flavored condom and you guess the flavor, ok?

-ok

....so the guy turned off the lights off and the girl suddenly says

-yumm this one tastes like cheese and tuna!

-oh wait baby, i haven't put on a condom yet.
anonymous
2007-02-12 17:27:36 UTC
Q. Why do cows have bells?

A. Their horns don't work.



Q. How do you hold the world?

A. Go to Antarctica and do a hand stand.



Q. How do dogs play?

A. RUFF!
anonymous
2007-02-12 18:05:58 UTC
What's the difference between hard and light? You can sleep with a light on!
bornagainandy
2007-02-12 16:52:54 UTC
Whats the difference between a prostitute and a hen ....One says "**** a doodle doo" and the other says "Any **** will doo"

Havent said that one for years!!!
anonymous
2007-02-12 16:49:53 UTC
Jade Goody has been attacked at home by an intruder with a large knife. Polica have arrested Shilpa's mother ....Ma Shetty.
pretty_penguin18
2007-02-12 16:48:12 UTC
Why did the coach go to the bank







to get his quarterback
~Chica~
2007-02-12 16:48:49 UTC
whats the difference between a crack dealer and a prostitiute??

A prostitute can was her crack and sell it again.
Charles R
2007-02-12 16:48:11 UTC
I am sure you can find many on these forums, seems that is what this thing is for now.
Trevy mayne
2007-02-12 16:57:39 UTC
funnyville.com
Double D's
2007-02-16 09:33:58 UTC
JODIE W - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA BOY THAT WAS FUNNY
JAM123
2007-02-16 11:30:53 UTC
None - sorry.!!!
anonymous
2007-02-12 16:48:27 UTC
wat did the blonde say to the vacuum cleaner?

keep sucking
mjohnwmiles
2007-02-16 15:04:10 UTC
Err.......erm........I do!!!!!
Sini.
2007-02-12 16:49:18 UTC
knock knock

who's there

boo

boo who

IDK!!

lolol that made me Laugh
anonymous
2007-02-12 16:53:31 UTC
Yo momma's so poor I saw her kickin a can and said wht you never seen a monile home?



Yo momma's so poor, she has the toilet paper up dryin right now!



Yo momma's stupid she had you



Yo momma's breath so stank, when she exhales, her teeth have to duck



Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, she spits butter



Yo momma's teeth so dirty, she spits chocolate milk



(I'm part black too)

Yo momma's so black, you tried to shoot her in the dark and the bullets came back and said where she at?



Yo momma's so black, she went to nightschool and got marked absent-ALL THE TIME!!!



Yo momma got three tounges and she talk like this, like this, like this



Yo momma's so dumb, passed by the YMCA and said, look honey, they spelled MACY's wrong!



Yo momma's so dumb when she saw under 17 not admitted sign she went home and got 16 friends



Yo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers



Yo momma's so old one of her pets was on on Noahs Ark

Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone

Yo momma's so dumb she passed by YMCA and said hey look they spelled MACYs wrong

Yo momma's so poor people rob her house for practice

Yo momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals

Yo momma's so poor she married young just to get the rice

Yo momma's so dumb she failed a survey

Yo momma's so dumb she fell up the stairs





Yo momma's so dumb she asked for a price check at the dollar store

Yo momma's so dumb she invented a silent car alarmYo momma's so dumb and poor that when I came over for dinner she read me recipes

Yo momma's so dumb at bottom of application where it says Sign Here she put Cancer

Yo momma's so dumb she got a part time job painting skittles

Yo momma's so dumb she put on her glasses to watch 20/20

Yo momma's so dumb her brain cells are on the endangered species list

Yo momma's so dumb her brain cells die ALONE

Yo momma's so dumb her breasts are square cuz she forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box

Yo momma's so dumb her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard

Yo momma's so dumb her latest invention was a glass hammer

Yo momma's so dumb her shoes say TGIF - toes go in front

Yo momma's so dumb I asked her do tricks for me and she wagged her tail

Yo momma's so dumb I don't even understand how stupid she is

Yo momma's so dumb I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side

Yo momma's so dumb I put a ScratchNSniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she drowned

Yo momma's so dumb I said give me a quarterback and she gave me Dan Marino

Yo momma's so dumb I said it was chilli outside and she ran in and got a bowl

Yo momma's so dumb I said lets go to the superbowl and she ran and got a spoon

Yo momma's so dumb I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod

Yo momma's so dumb I saw her jumping up and down asked what she was doing and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it

Yo momma's so dumb I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope asked what she was doing and she said sending a voice mail

Yo momma's so dumb I taught her how to do the running man and I havent seen her since

Yo momma's so dumb I think its a new world record

Yo momma's so dumb I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it

Yo momma's so dumb I told her drinks were on the house so she went and got a ladder

Yo momma's so dumb I told her I was reading a book by Homer and she asked if I had anything written by Bart

Yo momma's so dumb if brains were dynamite she wouldnt have enough to blow her nose

Yo momma's so dumb if brains were gas she wouldnt have enough to power a fleamobile around the inside of a Froot Loop

Yo momma's so dumb if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change

Yo momma's so dumb if you gave her a penny for her thoughts you'd get change

Yo momma's so dumb instead of taking 4 bus she took the 2 bus twice

Yo momma's so dumb it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg

Yo momma's so dumb it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch

Yo momma's so dumb it take her a week to get rid of a 24 hour virus

Yo momma's so dumb it takes 2 of her to listen to music

Yo momma's so dumb it takes 2 of her to watch tv

Yo momma's so dumb it takes 4 of her to screw in a light bulb

Yo momma's so dumb it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes

Yo momma's so dumb it takes her 4 hours to watch a 1 hour movie

Yo momma's so dumb it takes her an hour to cook minute rice

Yo momma's so dumb it took her 2 days to make Microwaveable Pot Noodles

Yo momma's so dumb on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911

Yo momma's so dumb people were askin her for crack and she bent over and said here

Yo momma's so dumb she actually thinks these jokes are funny

Yo momma's so dumb she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken

Yo momma's so dumb she asked for help to use Hamburger Helper

Yo momma's so dumb she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said Guess so she said Levis

Yo momma's so dumb she asked me what yield meant I said Slow down and she said What does yield mean?

Yo momma's so dumb she asked me whats that letter after X and I said Y she said Cause I want to know

Yo momma's so dumb she asked me Whats the number for 911?

Yo momma's so dumb she asked what time is the 12:00 lunch

Yo momma's so dumb she bought a solarpowered flashlight

Yo momma's so dumb she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home

Yo momma's so dumb she brought a cup to the movie Juice

Yo momma's so dumb she brought a doughnut back to tha shop cause it had a hole in it

Yo momma's so dumb she called Dan Quayle for a spell check

Yo momma's so dumb she called the 7-11 store to see when they closed

Yo momma's so dumb she called the cocaine hotline to order some

Yo momma's so dumb she can't even spell acronyms correctly

Yo momma's so dumb she can't find her own house

Yo momma's so dumb she can't make Jello because she can't fit 2 quarts of water in the box

Yo momma's so dumb she can't pass a drunk test when she is not even drunk

Yo momma's so dumb she can't tie her own shoe

Yo momma's so dumb she chases parked cars

Yo momma's so dumb she climbed a chain link fence to see what was on the other side

Yo momma's so dumb she cooked her own complimentary breakfast

Yo momma's so dumb she cooks Indian curry with Old Spice

Yo momma's so dumb she could not get into the first grade

Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't read an audio book

Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses

Yo momma's so dumb she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the 11 button in 911

Yo momma's so dumb she died boiling water in the toaster

Yo momma's so dumb she does not know what she is talking about

Yo momma's so dumb she forgets to pick you up at school

Yo momma's so dumb she forgets what she is thinking before she even think of it

Yo momma's so dumb she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W&Ws

Yo momma's so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged

Yo momma's so dumb she got locked in a bathroom and wet her pants

Yo momma's so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved

Yo momma's so dumb she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor

Yo momma's so dumb she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down

Yo momma's so dumb she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home

Yo momma's so dumb she got on her knees to drink her Nehi peach drink

Yo momma's so dumb she got shot running the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial

Yo momma's so dumb she got stabbed in a shoot out

Yo momma's so dumb she had surgery on her butt and the doctor removed her brain

Yo momma's so dumb she has 1 toe and bought a pair of flip flops

Yo momma's so dumb she has to ask for help to use hamburger helper

Yo momma's so dumb she has to use her fingers for 1 + 1

Yo momma's so dumb she invented a wheelchair with pedals

Yo momma's so dumb she jumped off a building in attempt to fly because she thought her maxi pad had wings

Yo momma's so dumb she leaves tell tales signs she's been using my computer: white out is on the screen

Yo momma's so dumb she leaves the house for the Home Shopping Network

Yo momma's so dumb she make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner

Yo momma's so dumb she makes a chimp look smart

Yo momma's so dumb she makes blondes look smart

Yo momma's so dumb she makes Bush look smart

Yo momma's so dumb she makes me feel dumber just talking to her

Yo momma's so dumb she makes the rest of the world seem smarter

Yo momma's so dumb she makes toast in the freezer

Yo momma's so dumb she married Yo daddy

Yo momma's so dumb she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble

Yo momma's so dumb she needs twice as much sense to be a halfwit

Yo momma's so dumb she noticed a sign reading Wet Floor so she just did

Yo momma's so dumb she once attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a curb

Yo momma's so dumb she ordered a cheese burger from McDonalds and said Hold the cheese

Yo momma's so dumb she passed by YMCA and said hey look they spelled MACYs wrong

Yo momma's so dumb she peals M&Ms to make chocolate chip cookies

Yo momma's so dumb she put a peep hole in a glass door

Yo momma's so dumb she put a phone up her *** and thought she was making a booty call

Yo momma's so dumb she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out

Yo momma's so dumb she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept

Yo momma's so dumb she put her watch in the bank to save time

Yo momma's so dumb she put light bulbs on a christmas tree

Yo momma's so dumb she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind

Yo momma's so dumb she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house

Yo momma's so dumb she put security cameras in a glass house to see in other rooms

Yo momma's so dumb she ran out of gas leaving Texaco

Yo momma's so dumb she ran outside with a purse because she heard there was change in the weather

Yo momma's so dumb she reckoned a Quarterback was a refund

Yo momma's so dumb she runs around the bed all night trying to catch some sleep

Yo momma's so dumb she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a branch manager

Yo momma's so dumb she sat on a window ledge thinking she'd get framed

Yo momma's so dumb she saw a billboard that said Dodge Trucks and she started ducking through traffic

Yo momma's so dumb she saw her reflection on the TV and thought she was on Jeopardy

Yo momma's so dumb she sent me a fax with a stamp on it

Yo momma's so dumb she sold her Car for gas money

Yo momma's so dumb she sold her camera to buy film

Yo momma's so dumb she sold the house to pay the mortgage

Yo momma's so dumb she spent 30 minutes lookin at an orange juice box because it said concentrate

Yo momma's so dumb she stands up on an empty bus

Yo momma's so dumb she stepped on a crack and broke her own back

Yo momma's so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go

Yo momma's so dumb she studied for a blood test and failed

Yo momma's so dumb she studied for a drug test

Yo momma's so dumb she studied for a open book test and failed

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks 1 + 1 is 3

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks her twin lives in her mirror

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks socialism means partying

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks stereotype is the brand on her clockradio

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks the cat in the hat is, a cat in a hat

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks we are all in the Matrix

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks WuTang is an orange flavored drink

Yo momma's so dumb she though Titanic was a new flavor of tic tac

Yo momma's so dumb she thought 2 Pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday

Yo momma's so dumb she thought 50 cent was a cheap payperview

Yo momma's so dumb she thought a hot meal is stolen food

Yo momma's so dumb she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court

Yo momma's so dumb she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund

Yo momma's so dumb she thought asphalt was a skin disease

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center

Yo momma's so dumb she thought brownie points were coupons for a bake sale

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Chingy was what you say when you don't got no more money

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Condelesa Rice was a Mexican Side Dish

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority

Yo momma's so dumb she thought gangrene was another golf course

Yo momma's so dumb she thought hamburger helper came with another person

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Hot Meals were stolen food

Yo momma's so dumb she thought if she woke up fast enough she could see her self sleeping

Yo momma's so dumb she thought innuendo was an Italian suppository

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Keith Sweat was a Body Odor

Yo momma's so dumb she thought menopause was a button on the stereo

Yo momma's so dumb she thought meow mix was music for cats

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Morning Dew was a New York radio station

Yo momma's so dumb she thought OJ Simpson some kind of fruit juice

Yo momma's so dumb she thought she could get food stamps at the post office

Yo momma's so dumb she thought she needed a token to get on soul train

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project

Yo momma's so dumb she thought St Ides was a Catholic church

Yo momma's so dumb she thought St Ides was an island in the Caribbean

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Thailand was a mens clothing store

Yo momma's so dumb she thought the board of education was a piece of wood

Yo momma's so dumb she thought the internet was something you catch fish with

Yo momma's so dumb she thought the TV guide was directions to get to the television

Yo momma's so dumb she thought WIC meant welfare is cool

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Wu Tang was an African orange drink

Yo momma's so dumb she threw a rock the ground and missed

Yo momma's so dumb she told everyone that she was illegitimate because she couldn't read

Yo momma's so dumb she told me to meet her at the corner of Walk and don't Walk

Yo momma's so dumb she took a coloring book with her to see The Color Purple

Yo momma's so dumb she took a cup to see Juice

Yo momma's so dumb she took a donut to the repair shop and said it had a hole in it

Yo momma's so dumb she took a job cutting grass on an Oil Rig

Yo momma's so dumb she took a knife to a driveby shooting

Yo momma's so dumb she took an umbrella to see Purple Rain

Yo momma's so dumb she took lessons for a player piano

Yo momma's so dumb she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff

Yo momma's so dumb she took you to the drive-in movie theater to see Closed for the season

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to commit suicide by jumping from the basement window

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building but she got lost on the way down

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to drown a fish

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to drown herself in a carpool

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to hang herself with a cordless phone

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to kill a bird by throwing it off of a cliff

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to mail a letter with food stamps

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to melt squeeze Parkay

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to put m&ms in alphabetical order

Yo momma's so dumb she used white out on a computer screen

Yo momma's so dumb she uses Old Spice for cooking

Yo momma's so dumb she wants to be a blonde

Yo momma's so dumb she was born on Halloween and can't remember her birthday

Yo momma's so dumb she was looking at a paper and I asked her what you doing? and she said watching paper view

Yo momma's so dumb she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin Free Lays

Yo momma's so dumb she was on the corner with a sign that said Will eat for food

Yo momma's so dumb she washes her hands in the toilet and craps in the sink

Yo momma's so dumb she watches The Three Stooges and takes notes

Yo momma's so dumb she wears a tshirt that says hukd on fonicks woorkd fo mi

Yo momma's so dumb she went on Double Dare and when they asked her name she said I think Ill take the physical challenge

Yo momma's so dumb she went to a Whalers game to see Kiko

Yo momma's so dumb she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu

Yo momma's so dumb she went to Alpha Beta and asked to buy a vowel

Yo momma's so dumb she went to Burger King and thought she was a queen

Yo momma's so dumb she went to Disney World and saw a sign that said Disney World Left so she went home

Yo momma's so dumb she went to Dodger stadium and drowned in the waves

Yo momma's so dumb she went to Dr Dre for a pap smear

Yo momma's so dumb she went to Gap to fix her teeth

Yo momma's so dumb she went to the McDonalds drive thru and drove through the window

Yo momma's so dumb she went to Target with a handfull of darts and said lets play

Yo momma's so dumb she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had

Yo momma's so dumb she went to Walgreens to see if the walls were really green

Yo momma's so dumb she wouldnt know up from down if she had three guesses

Yo momma's so dumb she'd have to be twice as smart to become a halfwit

Yo momma's so dumb she went to Shop Rite and shopped wrong

Yo momma's so dumb that she got stabbed in a shoot out

Yo momma's so dumb that she uses whiteout as her toothpaste

Yo momma's so dumb that she went to a family reunion to look for a date

Yo momma's so dumb that she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu

Yo momma's so dumb that under Education on her job apllication she put Hooked on Phonics

Yo momma's so dumb that when she surfed the internet she put a wetsuit on

Yo momma's so dumb that when the judge in the courtroom said Order she said Fries and a coke please

Yo momma's so dumb that when you stand beside her you can actually hear the ocean

Yo momma's so dumb she snuck on the bus and paid to get off

Yo momma's so dumb the worst six years of her life were grade three

Yo momma's so dumb she likes to mop the carpet

Yo momma's so dumb she lost her shadow

Yo momma's so dumb she gave birth to you

Yo momma's so dumb she gets lost in thought

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to steal a free sample

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to wake up a sleeping bag

Yo momma's so dumb she ordered her sushi well done

Yo momma's so dumb was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday

Yo momma's so dumb when asked on an application Sex? she marked M F and sometimes Wednesday too

Yo momma's so dumb when asked what a pronoun was she said a noun that gets paid

Yo momma's so dumb when her daughter had a hart atack she dialed 911 on the microwave

Yo momma's so dumb when her husband lost his marbles she bought him new ones

Yo momma's so dumb when I asked her if she wanted to play one on one she said Ok but whats the teams?

Yo momma's so dumb when I said we were playing craps she went and got toilet paper

Yo momma's so dumb when I told her to squeal like a pig she said Moo

Yo momma's so dumb when I told her to take the trash out, she moved

Yo momma's so dumb when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver she said cherry or grape?

Yo momma's so dumb when she asked me what kinda jeans I wore I said Guess and she said Ah Levis?

Yo momma's so dumb when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home she moved

Yo momma's so dumb when she locked her keys in the car it took her all day to get yo family out

Yo momma's so dumb when she pulls up to a flashing red light it sounds like Vroom Screech Vroom Screech

Yo momma's so dumb when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put OK

Yo momma's so dumb when she saw a kid dress as a devil in halloween she thought she was in hell

Yo momma's so dumb when she saw a Wrong Way sign in her rearview mirror she turned around

Yo momma's so dumb when she saw under 17 not admitted sign she went home and got 16 friends

Yo momma's so dumb when she threw a grenade at me I pulled the pin and threw it back

Yo momma's so dumb when she took you to the airport and a sign said Airport Left she turned around and went home

Yo momma's so dumb when she worked at McDonalds and someone ordered small fries she said Hey Boss all the small ones are gone

Yo momma's so dumb when the computer said Press any key to continue she couldn't find the Any key

Yo momma's so dumb when you she got pregnant she asked the doctor are you sure its mine?

Yo momma's so dumb when you were born she looked at your umbilical cord and said Wow it comes with cable too

Yo momma's so dumb you can make her eyes twinkle by shining light in her ears

Yo momma's so old her birth certificate is expired

Yo momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals

Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter

Yo momma's so old her memory is in black and white

Yo momma's so old her social security card is in roman numerals

Yo momma's so old her social security number is 1

Yo momma's so old her breasts squirt out powderd milk

Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything

Yo momma's so old I looked in her year book and saw jesus

Yo momma's so old i told her to act her age and she died

Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer

Yo momma's so old it looks like the Wrinkle Fairy tap danced on her face

Yo momma's so old I've seen stale rasins with less wrinkles

Yo momma's so old Jurassic Park brought back memories

Yo momma's so old one of her pets was on on Noahs Ark

Yo momma's so old she babysat for Jesus

Yo momma's so old she called the cops when David and Goliath started to fight

Yo momma's so old she co-wrote one of the Ten Commandments

Yo momma's So old she dated moses

Yo momma's so old she got hieroglyphics on her Driver license

Yo momma's so old she got the first copy of the Ten Commandments

Yo momma's so old she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook

Yo momma's so old she has all the apostles in her black book

Yo momma's so old she has an autographed bible

Yo momma's so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince

Yo momma's so old she knew Captain Crunch while he was still a private

Yo momma's so old she knew Mr Clean when he had an afro

Yo momma's so old she left her purse on noahs ark

Yo momma's so old she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers

Yo momma's so old she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp

Yo momma's so old she owes Moses a quarter

Yo momma's so old she recalls when the Grand Canyon was a ditch

Yo momma's so old she remembers what life was like before the ice age

Yo momma's so old she took her drivers test on a dinosaur

Yo momma's so old she uses her hot flashes to heat her cup of Tea

Yo momma's so old she walked into an antique store and they kept her

Yo momma's so old she went to an antiques auction and three people bid on her

Yo momma's so old she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible

Yo momma's so old that in the back seat of your car kids don't say Are we there yet they scream Is she Dead yet

Yo momma's so old that she had Jesus tattoo the ten commandments on her back

Yo momma's so old she was a waitress at the last supper

Yo momma's So old she went blind from the big bang

Yo momma's so old she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party

Yo momma's so old she drove a chariot to high school

Yo momma's so old that when God said let the be light she hit the switch

Yo momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class

Yo momma's so old the candles cost more than the birthday cake

Yo momma's so old the fire department are on standby when you light her birthday cake

Yo momma's so old they ask to check her bags and she's not carrying any luggage

Yo momma's so old vultures constantly circle her house

Yo momma's so old when Moses parted the Red Sea he found her fishing on the other side

Yo momma's so old when she gave birth, you came out with Dentures

Yo momma's so old when she ran the 100 meter dash they timed her with a sundial

Yo momma's so old when she reads the bible she reminisces

Yo momma's so old when she was a kid there was no old spice it was called baby spice

Yo momma's so old when she was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick

Yo momma's so old when she was young rainbows were black and white

Yo momma's so old you put her in a museum instead of an old folks home

Yo momma's so po she can't even afford the last two letters

Yo momma's so poor a hobo threw a cigarette on the floor and she said Thank God we have heat

Yo momma's so poor burglars break in and leave money

Yo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers

Yo momma's so poor even the republicans were willing to give her welfare

Yo momma's so poor her baloney ain't got no first name

Yo momma's so poor her doormat doesnt say Welcome it says Welfare

Yo momma's so poor her front and back doors are on the same hinge

Yo momma's so poor I asked her what's for dinner and she pulled out a gun and said Next one who moves

Yo momma's so poor I asked her where the facilities were and she replied Pick a corner, any corner

Yo momma's so poor I caught her trying to use food stamps in a gumball machine

Yo momma's so poor I lit a match in her house and the roaches started singing Clap your hands stomp your feet praise the Lord cause we got heat

Yo momma's so poor I once threw a stone at a garbage can and out she popped saying Who knocked?

Yo momma's so poor I saw her hanging the toilet paper out to dry

Yo momma's so poor I saw her in the dumpster. I said what are you doing, she said grocery shopping

Yo momma's so poor I saw her shaking a can around and asked her what she was doing and she said Redecorating

Yo momma's so poor I saw her wrestling a squirrel for a peanut

Yo momma's so poor I stepped on her skateboard and she said Hey get off the car

Yo momma's so poor I stepped through her front door and fell out the back

Yo momma's so poor I visited her house, tore down the cob webs, and she screamed Whos taking down the drapes?

Yo momma's so poor I walked into her home asked if I could use her toilet and she said Sure thing its 4th tree on your right

Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house and stepped on a cigarette butt and she said Hey who turned off the heater?

Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and said Who turned off the lights?

Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house asked to use the bathroom and she gave me two sticks I asked her what the sticks were for and she said Ones to hold up the ceiling the other is to fight off the roaches

Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house asked to use the bathroom and she said Two buckets to your left

Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house asked what was for dinner so she lit my pockets on fire and said Hot Pockets

Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house two roaches tripped me and a rat stole my wallet

Yo momma's so poor I went into her house and flushed a cockroach down the toilet and she said Hey whered Grandma go?

Yo momma's so poor I went into her house and saw a bunch of cockroaches sittin around the toilet singin We are family! Get up with us dirty's and sing!





Hope these are funny lol Hope you love it!! Which I know you will!!! If these are LMAO funny, please pick me as 10 points please!!



Thanx homey ;)



>_<♥Jazzi>_<


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
Loading...