every answer i wanna get the most answers in history?

Question

for the best answer the funiest comment

Answer 1

What is thiis a "the longest answer ever competition? LOL!! Good luck with the most answers on history

Answer 2

Never give up on praying. Things may take a while to come up to tell you the God is still watching over you and protecting you. Laughing: she may be trying to make you jealous. Most people (girls) I know love to make other people jealous because it makes them feel accomplished. Whether what the person said if funny or not they will laugh so it seems like she's having a great time but really she may be miserable. Keep praying! Things will get better! And yes, He is answering your prayers, but slowly. It may take longer than you expected but that is part of Gods mystery. Hope this helped :)

Answer 3

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.



The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”









A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.

The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest son my child?"



The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."



With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."







There was magician on a cruise ship, and he was really good.

He was performing the highlight of his show when a parrot walked onstage and squawked, ''It's in his sleeve!''



The magician chased the bird away.



The next day the magician was performing his highlight again (in front of a smaller audience) when the parrot walked onstage and declared, ''It's in his pocket!''



The next day, as he was performing the highlight, he saw the parrot in the crowd. But before the parrot could ruin the magic trick, the boat crashed into a rock and sank.



The magician was lucky enough to find a board to hang on to. On the other end of the board was the parrot.



They stared at each other for three full days, neither of them saying anything, when suddenly the parrot said, ''I give up, what'd you do with the ship?''







there were 3 nuns in their room and the 1st nun said

" I found a dirty magazine in the father’s room! "

and the 2nd nun said

" what did you do with it?" and the 1st nun said

" I threw it away" then the 2nd nun said

"I found a box of condoms!" and the 1st nun said

" what did you do with them?" and the 1st nun said

" I poked holes is all of them" and the 3rd nun fainted









There is a priest, and a nun, and they go golfing. The priest misses the ball and says, "Oh crap I missed." Then the nun says, "Father don't say that word." The next hole, the priest misses the ball and says, "Oh crap, I missed." Then the nun says, "Father, please don't say that word again." Then the next hole, the priest misses the ball and says, "Oh crap, I missed." Then the nun says, "Father, if you say that word again may the Lord strike down on you." Then two holes later the priest misses the ball and says, "Oh crap I missed." Then you hear a clap of thunder, and you see the nun on the ground, and you hear a voice that says, "OH CRAP, I MISSED!"

Answer 4

Mother insult

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

(Redirected from Your mom)

Jump to: navigation, search



A mother insult is a reference to a person's mother through the use of phrases such as "your mom", "yer mum", or "yo mama", frequently used to insult the target by way of his or her mother. Used as an insult, "your mom..." preys on the fact that people commonly love and revere their mothers, making the insult particularly and globally offensive. "Your mom" can be combined with most types of insults, although suggestions of promiscuity, obesity, or lack of intelligence are particularly common.[1] Compared to other types of insults, "your mom" insults are especially likely to incite violence.[2] Slang variants such as "yo momma" or "yer ma" are sometimes used, depending on the local dialect. Insults involving "Your mom" are commonly used when playing the dozens. Additionally, this phrase is frequently used in playful banter between friends. Although this may appear to be a recent phenomenon, one can trace its roots far back in history. Indeed, William Shakespeare appears to utilize such a device in Act I Scene 1 of Timon of Athens:



Painter: "Y'are a dog."

Apemantus: "Thy mother's of my generation. What's she, if I be a dog?"



Wikisource has original text related to this article:

The Life of Timon of AthensAlthough the phrase has a long history of including a description portion (such as the old, mostly harmless insult "your mama wears Army shoes"), the phrase "yo mama" by itself, without any qualifiers, has become commonly used as an all-purpose insult or an expression of defiance.



Contents [hide]

1 Use as a retort

2 In popular culture

3 See also

4 References







Use as a retort

"Your mom" is also sometimes used as a sarcastically immature retort to either a mild criticism or even an innocuous statement. The effect of this is usually to mock the person. It is occasionally used as a sexual innuendo as in the following example:



Q: What are you doing?

A: Your mom!



In popular culture

"Your mom" jokes became common in North American pop culture in the early nineties. The Pharcyde's 1992 track "Ya Mama" echoed it, [3] as did the film Napoleon Dynamite, in which one of the supporting characters utters the phrase "your mom goes to college." Mexican film Y Tu Mama Tambien's title is an equivalent usage in Spanish ("and your momma too"). There is also a television show Yo Momma featuring contestants "playing the dozens". The Australian hiphop outfit Butterfingers released a song called "Yo Mama" that made number 17 on the 2004 Triple J Hottest 100.[4]



Look up your mom in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.

See also

The dozens

Fighting words

Maledicta

Taunt

Chav

Yo Momma - TV series

Answer 5

Did you know that Bob Barker is a vampire? Make sure to lock all your windows and doors, and it never hurts to have some garlic layin around within your reach. BEWARE!!!!!!!!!







Not very funny, but its all i got, sorry.

Answer 6

very nice how much lol borat

Answer 7

i can't compete with that

Answer 8

I answered this because - - - - -



























































































































































































































"I AM YOUR FATHER"









































nah

Answer 9

That was so hilarious Caroline!!! :)



































































































































































NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

Your continued donations keep Wikipedia running! Inherently funny word

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

The belief that certain words are inherently funny, for reasons ranging from onomatopoeia to phonosemantics to sexual innuendo, is widespread among people who work in humor. Opinions vary widely regarding this idea; there is no generally agreed-upon list of funny words and some people consider it to be a meaningless or nonsensical concept.



Contents [hide]

1 Cultural variation

2 English language

2.1 Comedy

2.2 Funny numbers

2.3 Examples of references to the concept

2.4 Funny nonsense words

2.5 Context-dependent funny words

3 References

4 See also

5 References

6 External links







[edit] Cultural variation

This section may contain original research or unverified claims.

Please help Wikipedia by adding references. See the talk page for details.



The concept of inherent humor appears to be heavily dependent on culture. Yiddish and German words, for example, are a staple of humor in American English, in particular those that begin with the /ʃ/ ("sh") sound, spelled sch- (or sometimes sh- in Yiddish). Take for example the derisive prefix shm- or schm-, as in "Oedipus schmoedipus!" - the trick known as schm-reduplication. Similarly, texts in Dutch often seem comical to English-speaking readers, perhaps because much written Dutch is partially intelligible but curiously spelled from an English-language point of view. The Dutch, on the other hand, consider Swedish to be a very funny language. For speakers of English, most Slavic languages are funny, probably due to the excess of fricative and affricate sounds. Surprisingly enough, speakers of Slavic languages themselves find all other Slavic languages utterly hilarious, for instance Czech language is side-splitting for Poles and Belarusians, largely because many perfectly ordinary Czech words sound similar to diminutives in those languages. Czechs and Slovaks also find Polish expressions hilarious, not because they sound like diminutives, but because they sound silly. Jokes featuring real or faux-Polish words exist in the Slovak and Czech languages.



It has been determined using the comparative method that the Finnish language developed the sound Ö [ø] relatively recently to introduce a fronted counterpart to [o], in line with [a] - [æ] and [u] - [y]. Moreover, the new sound has found use mostly in words considered by many to be derisive or amusing. For example, the reason the vowel /ö/ was originally used for the word pöllö "owl" was to make it sound stupid, since the Finnish mythology and folklore always presents the owl as a stupid animal. Most words meaning "stupid" contain /ø/, e.g. hölmö, pöhkö, höhlä, höperö, pöpi. [1] [2] Words with front vowels, especially with [ø], are inherently funny, or derisive, e.g. älä hölise ja kälätä "don't talk nonsense and babble". In Finnic linguistics, the term "expressive" is often used. One can consider words such as jööti "gross chunk" or "törkeä" obscene, aggravated (legal). Words that contain either <ö> or <öö> and are neutral-sounding are uncommon. Notice that this doesn't apply to the diphthongs <öy> and , which have developed from earlier sounds, and are not inherently funny.





[edit] English language



[edit] Comedy

This section may contain original research or unverified claims.

Please help Wikipedia by adding references. See the talk page for details.



Some influential comedians have long regarded certain words in the English language as being inherently funny and have used these to enhance the humour of their routines. By propagating the idea that the words are funny, comedy routines may increase the comedy potential of the words by adding another level of comic association.



For example, the radio panel game I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue includes an occasional round called "Straight Face", in which the panelists take turns saying a single word. A player is eliminated from the game if anyone in the audience laughs at their word ("even the merest titter"). The winner is the last player standing. The fact that this game works, and that it is possible to predict more or less accurately which words are safe to use and which are unsafe, can be construed as evidence that the phenomenon is real.



It is part of the mythology of actors and writers that the consonant plosives (so called because they start suddenly or "explosively") p, b, t, d, k, and g are the funniest sounds in the English language - particularly when found in short words since these create the greatest tension, generally regarded as a key to comedy. Example: Underpants would be funnier than underwear.



Close vowels may be inherently funnier than open vowels: the euphemistic curse word "frick" is funnier than Battlestar Galactica's invented curse word, "frak". Alliteration also contributes to humour. Ken Levine's comment that Jack Bauer has not received so much as a "holiday ham" for his services to the country is funnier than "Christmas ham" or other non-alliterative variations.



Additionally, the meaning of the word can play a factor. Many languages' word for duck is considered to be funny in that language, perhaps because ducks are seen as a silly animal, as shown by Richard Wiseman's LaughLab experiment[3] and his book Quirkology.



Additionally, taboos associated with certain words can make a word humorous in certain circumstances.



Unresolved questions about inherently funny words include:



Are there any known physiological or linguistic reasons for why these words are funny?

Are the funny sounds the same in other languages?



[edit] Funny numbers

This section may contain original research or unverified claims.

Please help Wikipedia by adding references. See the talk page for details.



Some comedians even maintain that certain numbers are funnier than others, although they tend to rely on context to set up an expectation of size or exactitude.



Humor can be found when numbers are oddly exact (such as the Car Talk standard prize of a gift certificate for 26 dollars) or of an order of magnitude different from what is expected (such as Dr. Evil's holding the world to ransom for a meager one million dollars).



The idea that the answer to the "ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything" is 42 is funny, according to author Douglas Adams, because it is an "ordinary, smallish" number, whereas numbers relating to space tend to be extremely large or extremely small and exact to many decimal places, while numbers invested with mystical significance tend to be prime.



In the 1996 video Caesar's Writers, former writers for Sid Caesar's Your Show of Shows discuss a skit in which Imogene Coca places a bet on a roulette wheel. The writers tried out several numbers before deciding "thirty-two" was the funniest number Coca could say.[4] Neil Simon, one of the writers, went on to write Laughter on the 23rd Floor, based on his experiences writing for Caesar. He claimed the 23 in the play's title was a transposition of 32.



The number 69 is considered amusing by some due to its sexual references.



Additionally, there is a concept in comedy of the "rule of three", which suggests that things in threes are funnier or more satisfying than other numbers of things. Specifically, because jokes create expectations and violate them for humor, a set of three is the smallest set of elements that both establishes a pattern and violates it.





[edit] Examples of references to the concept

Gary Larson, in The Prehistory of the Far Side writes: "Cows, as some Far Side readers know, are a favorite subject of mine. I've always found them to be the quintessentially absurd animal for situations even more absurd. Even the name 'cow', to me, is intrinsically funny."

In Neil Simon's play The Sunshine Boys, a character says, "Words with a k in it are funny. Alka-Seltzer is funny. Chicken is funny. Pickle is funny. All with a k. Ls are not funny. Ms are not funny."

In an article in the New Yorker published in 1948, H. L. Mencken argues that "k words" are funny. "K, for some occult reason, has always appealed to the oafish risibles of the American plain people, and its presence in the names of many ... places has helped to make them joke towns ... for example, Kankakee, Kalamazoo, Hoboken, Hohokus, Yonkers, Squeedunk, and Brooklyn."

The Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "The Outrageous Okona" features Joe Piscopo as a comedian who, in attempting to teach the android Data the concept of humor, refers to words ending in a k as funny.

In Monty Python sketches:

Monty Python's "Woody and Tinny Words" sketch finds humor in the pure sounds of English words and their inherent "woodiness" (good) or "tinniness" (bad).

Another Monty Python sketch, "Are You Embarrassed Easily?", includes a list of alternately ordinary and humorous words: shoe, megaphone, grunties, Wankel rotary engine, ****, winkle, and vibraphone.

Llama is another word portrayed as inherently funny. In one skit a group of Spanish musicians enters a room adorned with llama pictures and tells the audience facts about the llama (for example, "Llamas are larger than frogs."). In Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the opening credits claim the film to be produced by various groups of llamas and directed by Ralph the Wonder Llama.

Monty Python's famous Spam sketch finds humor in repeating the word "Spam" multiple times.

Dave Barry's 1991 book Dave Barry Talks Back reprints a column on linguistic humor. He contrasts the phrases "Richard Nixon wearing a necktie" with "Richard Nixon wearing a neck weasel", and "Scientists have discovered a 23rd moon orbiting Jupiter" with "Scientists have discovered a giant weasel orbiting Jupiter." He concludes that weasel is a very funny word - "You can improve the humor value of almost any situation by injecting a weasel into it."

An Internet phenomenon involved taking lines from the Star Wars movies and replacing one word from the line with the word "pants", with comedic effect.[5] This suggests that pants may be an inherently funny word.

In The Simpsons:

In the episode "Homie the Clown", Krusty the Clown tells Homer during a lesson at his clown college: "Memorize these funny place names: Walla Walla, Keokuk, Cucamonga, Seattle." Upon hearing the word "Seattle", Homer bursts into laughter.

In another episode, Krusty the Clown paralyzes his vocal cords when he tries to cram in too many "Comedy K's".

Comedian George Carlin talks about kumquats, garbanzos, succotash and guacamole in his older routines, claiming that due to their names they are "too funny to eat."

In the December 21, 1989 Dilbert comic strip, Dilbert uses his computer to determine the funniest words in the world, coming up with chainsaw, weasel, prune, and any reference to Gilligan's Island.

The inherent funniness of the word duck was popularized by the Marx Brothers comedies The Cocoanuts (featuring their "Why a Duck" routine) and Duck Soup. Comedian Joe Penner's famous "Wanna buy a duck?" routine of the 1930s is another example. A duck is also mentioned in The Llama Song. Also, artist Weird Al Yankovic wrote the song "I Want a New Duck" as a parody of "I Want a New Drug" by "Huey Lewis and the News."

In the movie My Favorite Year, one character tells another to use "guy" instead of "man" when telling a joke, because "guy" is funnier.

Richard Stallman has called "gnu" the funniest word in the English language [6].

"Turtle, by the way, is a very funny word." —Roger Ebert, review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Comedian Ron White, in routines such as "They Call Me 'Tater Salad'", emphasizes the c in public to draw laughter from the audience, in addition to the use of the word tater.

On Gilmore Girls, Lorelai Gilmore posits that "oy" is the funniest word ever and poodle is also very funny, and creates what she considers a wonderful catchphrase, "Oy with the poodles, already."

In the comic strip Pickles by Brian Crane, the word snood was presented as an inherently funny word.

In his DVD commentaries, Simpsons creator Matt Groening has proclaimed the word underpants to be at least 15% funnier than the word underwear. This idea is based on a theory by Futurama writer Ken Keeler. In the show Futurama, underpants is almost always used in lieu of "underwear."

The Darkover game produced by Eon Games simulates the "psychic combat" of the Darkover novels by having the players choose a word or phrase and then repeat it over and over; the first player to laugh loses the psychic combat.

Saturday Night Live writer Bryan Tucker has avowed that Monkey always elicits a laugh.

"Bulbous Bouffant", originated by Peter Sellers with others in an ensemble entitled "Radio Free Vestibule", perhaps later performed by The Vestibules and picked up by Dr. Demento, is a routine based entirely on inherently funny words like macademia, mukluk, gazebo, elbow, blubber, galoshes, spatula, and tuberculosis.

David Letterman has frequently used pants as a subject of humor, from screaming out "I am not wearing pants!" over a megahorn during the Today Show to naming his production company Worldwide Pants Incorporated.

In a sketch on The O'Franken Factor (now The Al Franken Show) Al plays an "outsourced" version of himself with an exaggerated Indian accent, who remarks that "All of my material is in my native language, Urdu. And most of it is wordplay that would not translate. Hard k's and p's, though, such as 'hockeypuck,' are always funny, just as 'Don Rickles, the king of the put-down.'"

Badger Badger Badger - a well known Flash cartoon that relies on the repetition (and occasional unpredictability) to emphasize any inherent humor in a particular word.



[edit] Funny nonsense words

Sometimes words are invented with a specific purpose to make them funny.



A classic example would be the Jabberwocky poem written by Lewis Carroll, the poem uses a rich set of nonce words, while evoking various emotions, and has quite a few inherently funny ones.

Douglas Adams created many nonsense names for his characters in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, such as Zaphod Beeblebrox, Quordlepleen, Wowbagger, and Slartibartfast. He also created "Vogon poetry", consisting of words such as groop, gruntbuggly, gabbleblotchit, and bindlewerdle.

Spike Milligan's Goon Show scripts often include funny nonsense words, such as spon, ploogie, plinge, klugy, lurgi, ying tong iddle i po and needle nardle noo.

The film Monty Python and the Holy Grail features a band of knights - the Knights who say Ni, who are said to be feared for the manner in which they utter the word "Ni". The knights protect the word along with "Peng" and "Neee-wom", and hearing these words being spoken, is supposed to be horrifying to the listener. The knights later become the Knights Who Say "Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv". [7]



[edit] Context-dependent funny words

The notion of the "inherently funny" word should not be confused with situations when a certain word sounds funny when unexpectedly used in an inappropriate situation.



For example, the comic book, animation, and live action absurdist superhero The Tick, when required to choose a battle cry, chooses "Spoon!". In The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the "rudest word in the Universe" is revealed to be "Belgium". Another is "Snu-Snu" from Futurama, which was used by giant barbarian-like women to refer to sex.











[edit] References

Barry, Dave (1991), Dave Barry Talks Back, 1st edn., New York: Crown. ISBN 0-517-58546-4.

The Power of the Plosive, Tips & Tactics, 1st Quarter 1999, The Naming Newsletter, Rivkin and Associates [1]

H. L. Mencken, "The Podunk Mystery", The New Yorker, September 25, 1948.



[edit] See also

Clown (Clown 'bits')

Comic timing

Malapropism

Speech error

Nonsense poetry

Cellar door (words that J.R.R. Tolkien said were especially beautiful)



[edit] References

^ http://herkules.oulu.fi/isbn9514280032/isbn9514280032.pdf

^ http://www.kajaaninyliopistokeskus.oulu.fi/kampuslehti/joulu2001/1201.html

^ http://www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99992876

^ http://listserv.ucsb.edu/lsv-cgi-bin/wa?A2=ind0211&L=nabokv-l&D=0&P=18531&F=P.

^ http://www.jardmail.co.uk/factslists/

^ http://www.computerpoweruser.com/editorial/article.asp?article=articles/archive/c0209/59c09/59c09.asp&guid=

^ http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/grail-19.htm



[edit] External links

Inherently Funny Words

"Funny letters"

"Funny words"

Fruits with inherently funny names

Monty Python "Woody and Tinny Words" sketch transcript

Theories on humor

Fun words to say, and other things too

The Funny Things List

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inherently_funny_word"

Categories: Articles which may contain original research | Lists of English words | Humor | Comedy | English phrases | Phonaesthetics



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