Why do football players hate the band?
Because after halftime everyone leaves.
174 Ways to know if you've been on color guard too long...
1.Your parents lock up all the brooms/pool cues/umbrellas/etc.
2. You spin anything you can get your hands on. pens, mops, etc.
3. You go to attention when someone claps at you in the hallways.
4. Five hours of practice is a blessing.
5. You go to the mall to try to find something new to make your rifle colorful
6. Your light fixture in your room is permanently broken.
7. You've replaced more light bulbs in your room than you can count.
8. Every song you hear, you write guard work to.
9. All your favorite songs have this one part that would be "perfect for a rifle feature."
10. Your hands are permanently black and blue.
11. You dance down the hallways at school.
12. All the work your instructor writes, you've done before...
13. You can't watch someone else spin next to you without spinning yourself.
14. You protect your weapons like they are your children.
15. You name your equipment.
16. You name your drill spots.
17. As soon as you step onto a football field, you put your head up and smile at the bleachers, whether or not anyone is there.
18. You can't name all the shows you've done.
19. You can't remember the work from the last show you did.
20. The phrase, "free time" has lost all meaning to you.
21. The band room is your second home.
22. You leave a pillow and blanket in the guard room, just in case.
23. You have a closet full of old guard uniforms, whether you wore them or not.
24. You have a drawer full of guard tee-shirts.
25. All your guard gloves have holes in the palms.
26. You don't go one day without spinning.
27. Doing only 200 drop spins at practice is a blessing.
28. You've run more laps than the track team.
29. You've done more push-ups than the football team.
30. You've slept in the band room.
31. You've gotten undressed in the band room.
32. You'd be at practice, even if you have pneumonia. And you'd be smiling.
33. When people on TV march, you cringe if they're out of step.
34. You know where everything is in the first aid kit.
35. You know that "one more time" never means one more time.
36. After practice, you hang out in the band room to chat with your fellow guard members.
37. You've seen 3 in the morning.
38. When you get home at 1 a.m., you are ecstatic.
39. Your personal motto is "Guard is Life."
40. After high school, you march in college, drum corps, winter guard...etc.
41. You know how to get any kind of stain out of your uniform.
42. Skin tight spandex doesn't faze you anymore.
43. You go out in public wearing practice clothes, and wonder why people look at you funny.
44. You sing songs you've performed to every day of your life.
45. Anyone who can throw a piece of wood with a strap 100 feet in the air and catch it becomes your idol.
46. You and your friends repeat the same phrases over and over.
47. When one member gets sick, you all get sick.
48. You refuse to graduate.
49. You could make one of these lists with little to no effort.
50. You have a permanent sock tan.
51. Your hair is 8 different colors.
52. Your nails don't come past the ends of your fingers.
53. Your toenails have been painted for as long as you can remember. (Because you're barefoot so much.)
54. A half-hour lunch break is considered long.
55. You start finishing sentences for fellow guard members.
56. When you go out to diners in your uniform after a show, you wonder why the waiter looks at you funny.
57. When you go out to diners with 30 pounds of glitter in your hair, you wonder why there's glitter in your food.
58. You're constantly involved in fund raisers (wanna buy a candy bar?)
59. You know where every high school in your circuit is located.
60. You can smiles genuinly on command.
61. You can catch anything thrown at you.
62. You know the perfect spot for a toss in your favorite songs.
63. You can do your hair and make-up anywhere.
64. You can change into your uniform anywhere.
65. You find yourself designing flags/uniforms/drill in your classes.
66. You've missed more 4th periods than you've been to.
67. You can change, go to the bathroom, and go to your locker in 4.5 min.
68. You laugh like everyone else on your guard.
69. You use two hands to tell your left from your right.
70. You know how many people can be crammed into a minivan.
71. Lycra-spandex has become a permanent part of your closet.
72. You spend more time in the band room than in your house
73. You know how to manage 20 girls and 1 bathroom.
74. You've spent more money on guard fees than you have on your college education.
75. You never could teach your dog to fetch, cuz everything you throw you have to catch yourself.
76. No matter how good your guard is you still get the smallest coverage in the yearbook.
77. The school nurse knows you and your parents by name.
78. Your guard has developed its own language.
79. Yo