How do confuse a blonde?...put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A1: Toes Go In First.
How do you drown a blonde? a. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi."
The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."
So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."
A blonde is like a pooltable, put a dollar in and she'll rack your balls
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been in your fridge?
A: There is lipstick on the cucumber.
Why did the blonde run out of shampoo?
She kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted
What's the difference between a blonde and the internet?
Not everyone's been on the internet!
Q: What's worse than a redhead and a brunette trying to build a house underwater?
A: A blonde trying to set fire to it.
Did you hear about the two blondes that froze to death at the drive-in theatre?They went to see "Closed For The Winter".
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick.
A blonde goes into an electronics store. She wants to buy a TV. She picks one out and goes to pay for it. She says "i would like to buy this TV. The cashier says "I am sorry but we dont sell to blondes." So she goes and buys a wig. The next day she puts in the wig and goes back to the store. The cashier says agian, "I am sorry but we dont sell to blondes" so she dyes her hair black. The next day she goes back. the cashier says again, "I am sorry but we dont sell to blondes" So she asked "How do you know I am blonde!" The cashier says "because that isnt a TV its a microwave."
a blond went in to a hairdresser and sit's down on her usual seat when the lady with sissors comes out she says to the blonde to take her head phones off but the blonde says she would die without them so the lady with sissor's cuts the tips of the ladies hair until she falls a sleep the lady gentaly removes her headphones so shecan cut the rest of the hair but just as she was trimming the blonde fell down dead so the lady with sissor's wonders if the headphones had anything to do with the deat h so she puts the headphones on to hear what they were saying and it said : BREATH IN.....BREATH OUT.....BREATH IN.....BREATH OUT. I usually don't like blond jokes (or jokes that make fun of people) but here is my favorite:
A blonde and a lawyer are on a plane to LA. The lawyer turns to the blonde and says lets play a game, I’ll ask you a question and i you get it wrong you give me $5 and visa versa. the blonde tired and wanting to get sleep said thanks but I’m going to pass. the Laywer said how about if i get a question wrong I’ll give you $500 and you’ll only have to give me $5. The blonde liked the idea and said ok the lawyer asked what’s the distance from the earth to the sun. the blonde reached into her purse and said i don’t know and handed him $5. The lawyer said now its your turn. the blonde asked what goes up on a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? the lawyer didn’t have a clue. He used the airplane phone to call his friends, used his laptop to search the Internet and after 1 hour he still didn’t know so he gave the blonde $500. He asked the blonde what the answer? the blonde reached into her purse again and handed him $5.
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and smart blond and a dumb blond are all waking down a street. they find a $10 bill. who gets it?
the dumb blond of course, the others don't exist
a brunette, a redhead, and a blond are walking along the edge of a cliff when an earthquake seperates them from the mainland. suddenly a genie appears. "this is a magical cliff" he says. "if you jump off, right before you fall, shout something. you will fall into a humongous pile of that" then he disappears. the brunette goes first. she jumps off and yells," mattresses!" She falls into a pile of mattresses. the redhead jumps off and shouts,"pillows!" and falls into a giant pile of pillows.the blond is about to jump off when she trips over a rock and stumbles over the edge. "oh, crap" she says. and falls into a giant pile of it
edit* these are all the blonde jokes i got when i asked for blonde jokes