what is ur favorite joke and y?

Question

i love jokes and to laugh so whats ur fav joke and y?

Answer 1

A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small



house. He knocks on the door and is greeted by an old Chinese man with



a long grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man, "Can you put me up for the



night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but one condition. If you



so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst



Chinese tortures known to man."



"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as



well, and entered the house. Over dinner the daughter came down the



stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was



obviously attracted to the young man as well, as she couldn't keep her



eyes off of him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning he



ignored her and went up to bed alone. During the night he could bear it



no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. Near dawn, he



quietly crept back to his room so the old man wouldn't hear, exhausted



but happy.



He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large



rock on his chest with a note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 1: Large



rock on chest." "Well, that's easy," he thought. "If that's the best the



old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the



boulder up, walked over to the window and threw it out.



As he threw the rock out, he noticed a note on the window that read:



"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced



down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring



that a few broken bones was better than castration he jumped out of the



window after the boulder.



As he plummeted toward the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that



read: "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed post."

Answer 2

A penguin takes his car to a mechanic because there is a funny noise coming from under the bonnet.

"Leave it with me," says the mechanic. "Come back in 20 minutes."

So, off goes the penguin. It's a pretty hot day, and he's a cool weather kind of guy so on spotting an ice cream van he goes and buys himself a 99. Now, penguins aren't very good at eating ice creams – the lack of opposable thumbs makes it tricky. So by the time the penguin has finished his 99, he is completely covered in ice cream. It is all over his beak and all over his flippers. Feeling a little sticky, he goes back to the garage.

"Oh, hello," says the mechanic, wiping his hands on a cloth.

"Hello," replies the penguin. "Was it anything serious?"

"Not really, but it looks like you've blown a seal."

"Oh no, no, no!" says the penguin, wiping his mouth. "It's just ice cream."

Answer 3

What is the difference between a rock and a cow???



A Shoe.



The reason I love this joke is because it is pointless and makes no sense. What is really great is when you tell it and people laugh like they get it - then the joke is on them, cause there is nothing to 'get.'

Answer 4

no offence to irish:



one day, an american tourist was driving around the irish countryside when he came across a big pool of water. as he wasn't sure how deep it was, he decided to wait around to ask one of the locals when they came around.



when an irish farmer came by, the american tourist immediately stopped him and ask: "hi there! do you think my car is able to drive over this pool of water?"



being really helpful, the irish farmer walked round the car a couple of times, knocked on the bonnet and all, checked the tyres and finally said with much confidence: "definitely"



on hearing that, the american tourist thanked the kind irish and started to drive across the pool of water. the pool of water turned out to be a deep pond and the car sank to the bottom of the pond immediately.



when the american tourist managed to swim up to the surface, he scolded the irish farmer:" i thought you said my car definitely can make it across this pool of water?"



the irish farmer replied:" how did that possibly happen? it normal only half fills the duck!"

Answer 5

How do you tell who the bride is at a Reform Jewish wedding? He's(no typo) the one with the braided arm pits.

Answer 6

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.

As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on."



She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.



"I can't wear your trousers." she said.



"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."



With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."



He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.



"Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"



She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."

Answer 7

Here is my fav joke i heard it in the second grade and its stuck with me ever since i have changed it a little over the years so here is the edited one...



A piece of string walks into a bar and ask for a shot of vodka and the bartender says , "NO GET OUT OF HERE WE DONT SERVE STRING HERE!!!!"





The piece of sting gets mad stomps out of the bar goes into the parking lot and ties himself in a knot and rub his head until it frays abit...



The string then walks into the bar as if nothing had happend and strolls up to the bartender and says ill have a shot of vodka please....



The bartender says aren't you that string that was just in here? and the string says, "nope I'M A FRAYED KNOT!"



Here is another one i heard along time ago....



there are two muffins getting cooked in the oven one muffin looks over at the other muffin and says, "man its hot in here" The other muffin screams, " AARRRRGGGHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Answer 8

why couldn't the ghost get the witch pregnant?

because he has a hollow weenie

i love that joke because it says weenie

Answer 9

wat u call white ppl rollin down a hill? avalanche

wat u call spanish ppl rollin down a hill? mud slide

wat u call black ppl rollin down a hill? jail break!

It makes fun of most races so u cant b called a racist after tellin it

Answer 10

ok i made this one up i love it!



what do u call a pink banana?





a pink banana





omg idk y i love this joke just like idk i made it up and when ever i say pink banana i crack up!