This is where the parents, teachers, or students can read or send in excuses for missing school or not during homework!
The first part, number's 1 thru 19, will be one's submitted with "LETTERS TO THE TEACHER". These are actual excuse notes from parents (including spelling errors).
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear School: Excuses
Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
10. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
11. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
12. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
13. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
14. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
15. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
16. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
17. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
18. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
19. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
20. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
21. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
22. Please excuse Bob from school from Sep. 1 - Nov. 1, he had to attend a religious sacrificial giving ceremony on Indian grounds .
23. My brother used this in real life..."the only reason that I do bad in school is because I'm near and far sighted."
24. Please excuse my son from school yesterday, he has gangrene and **** itch.
25. Please excuse Jackie for not having her homework she was a little under the weatherman, and there was a big flurry in Central America.
26. I didn't come to school yesterday because I was feeling like I was going to be sick, but thankfully I wasn't!
27. Please excuse my daughter for being late. Her broom won't start so I had to send it back to Salem for repairs!
28. I'm sorry but my baby sitter flushed my homework down the toilet.
29. I'm sorry Tyler can't go to school today because his hormones are raging.
30. I'm sorry I can't come to school today because I have toemonia!
31. A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ***, male student said, " What about extreme sexual exhaustion? ", and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, " Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."
32. My son Michael won't be in school today, he caught his thing in his zipper this morning while dressing and is in lot of pain!
33. In my school district and a few around us we have a senior skip day. The seniors get to take a day off without being truant. But our new principal decided to change some rules this year and made senior skip day a truancy. All we had to do to make it excused was bring a note from a parent or doctor or something. So my mom wrote, "Please excuse my son from being absent, it was senior skip day," and they accepted it as excused."
34. Please Excuse Eric from school on May 5th thru May 19th, he was waiting in line for the new Star Wars film, you will be happy to know he got tickets for next September, when he will be missing another week of school while he waits for the perfect seat.
35. My mom called my school this morning and told them that my face was very sunburned and swollen so I couldn't go to school today or tomorrow, which is true and they accepted it as an excused absence.
36. Actually used - by me, the teacher.!! I am sorry your exams are not all marked. The cat got jealous as I was marking instead of petting him and after I went to bed he attacked the test papers. Those of you missing entire sections will be credited full marks. If I can see your answer through the tooth mark holes, I'll mark what you wrote down.
37. Again - this actually happened to me - the teacher! Sorry your books are being returned late - my briefcase was run over in the middle of the Fraser Highway after it fell from the roof of my car. I apologize for the tire tracks on some of your pages. The tire tracks will not detract from your marks for neatness.
38. Please excuse Casey from school. It was Take Your Daughter to work day. I don't have a job, so I made her stay home and do housework.
39. Please excuse my daughter from school yesterday and P.E. forever. She had a very bad asthma attach running in P.E. because the coach made her run too much. Please excuse her from P.E. even though the doctor says she needs it.
40. For school if you have a worksheet or something here is one thing you can say: I was doing my homework like a good little girl (or boy) and my dad wanted to check it, I gave him the paper and he forgot that he had it, he got a call from his boss saying that he had to pack now because he was going out of town, well he was so much in a hurry that he packed my homework in his suitcase, he won't be back for another 3 weeks...does that mean that I can get an extension?
41. When my husband and I first started dating, we got this great idea to have a bunch of us to go on a picnic on this beautiful spring day. I would have him write the excuse for me and have him sign my stepfathers name as I had never turned in an excuse from him and they did not know his handwriting. After our wonderful day with our friends picnicking he wrote the note, without looking at it, I put it in my purse to turn it in the following morning, which I did first thing I got to homeroom. After a few minutes the teacher called me up to her desk. She asked me, "Who wrote this excuse?" "My stepfather" I replied. "And how was he feeling when he wrote this?" "OK, I guess." not knowing what she was getting to. She handed me the note to read. The note my boyfriend had written said, Please excuse Sharon for being absent as she was feeling good yesterday. The excuse was accepted because they thought I wasn't stupid enough to hand in an excuse like that if it wasn't real.
42. For School: Tell your mom this.. Mom, My stomach hurts. I had diarrhea all night. Now I feel like I am going to barf. Next day, school time: I wasn't sick yesterday Mom, can you tell the school I was home taking care of you when you were sick?
43. Oh, sorry [teachers name], the cafeteria food made me delirious.
44. My locker is jammed and I can't get my homework out of it. I actually used this one.
45. This was actually used- Dear Coach, (students name) could not make it to the game at (time of game) because the battery in my car was dead because my headlights were left on and I needed a jump from the neighbor. Please excuse (name), it was my fault.
46. A student does not hand in a paper on time. The next day she calls me in my office and says: "I was going to hand the paper in on time, but yesterday my roommate's horse died, and I had to stay up all night with her."
47. As a college instructor for 15 years, I thought I had heard them all until.... a student told me he could not take an exam one day because he had a vasectomy yesterday and he could not think.
48. Al was not in school yesterday because he was didn't feel like going.
49. Please excuse Ryan's absents he has smoked too much weed over the last few days and is extremely tired.
50. My youngest daughter couldn't turn in her homework because her younger step-brother had stolen it, filled it in and turned it in to his teacher to prove how smart he was.
51. True story: My daughter couldn't turn in her homework because her dad had used it to start a fire in the wood stove.
52. Actually received at a high school attendance office: "Johnny was late today because of a shallow gene pool."
53. I was late for class because the bell rang before I got here!!
54. I won't be in class because my dog chipped my tooth.
55. I was absent because I got my head caught in the power window of the car.
56. My friend actually used this homework excuse: "I didn't do my homework because of my eyes.....I couldn't see any reason to do it."
57. I once told a teacher that my dog ate part of my homework. I was able to provide proof since I handed in what was left of the paper (for some reason my dog decided to eat a corner of my paper).
58. My sister had an incredibly difficult paper due in an intense class. She also happened to be house sitting for my aunt. The morning of her paper's due date, she toiled away endlessly. After she'd typed everything (remember pre word processor?) she sorted all the papers on the floor. Along came my aunt's ill Dalmatian, Love, who ambled past, fell over and went into full- blown seizure--blasting diarrhea all over the floor and *all over the paperwork!* That was her actual excuse. She offered the instructor the soiled paperwork.
59. My dog has mistaken my homework for that GOSH DAMN newspaper.
60. I actually was late for a college class for this reason. I had to drop my daughter off at the babysitters (my sister), who lives on a no outlet road. While I was there a tractor trailer came back that road hauling a new house trailer to be put on a lot. While trying to back in the lot, the rig got stuck! The trailer was blocking the only road in or out of my sisters house! I felt like a redneck explaining that to my professor, but I did make it to another class of his later that day.
61. One day, after a rough night of studying for exams, I had forgotten to do my homework for Chemistry. When the teacher came around to see if we had the homework done, I told him this excuse: "I don't have my homework because our family just got a new paper shredder, and I just had to test it out, and I accidentally shredded my homework." It worked! I got off, scott-free!
62. I was late for school 5 days in a row when I was seven. My excuses were a flat tire four days in a row, and on the final day, all the clocks in the house stopped at once, and I was unable to tell the time.
63. As a University professor I hear too many excuses, but this I used myself. I'm sorry, my cat ate your homework. My blind cat likes to chew things such as hair, string, and especially staples including the paper around them. One night when I finished grading a paper, I put it on the floor until I finished all the grading. When I looked down at the stack of papers, my cat had chewed all the stapled corners into a big, icky, soggy mess. I didn't make the students take their papers back.
64. I was unable to hand in a final paper in a college course because I was proofreading it while holding my infant son who is prone to eating paper ... he ate my final.
65. I am a principal and received this excuse about a student who was 2 hours late for school. Please excuse Henry for being late for school. He was stuck in the bathroom without any toilet paper.
66. Oh well ý had a good excuse for not attending the class but ý forgot so please excuse me for forgetting my excuse for not attending the class!
67. My husband wrote an excuse for my son that read: Please excuse my son for being absent from school yesterday as he was home sick with the flue.
68. I used to write my children excuses stating that they were absent because they had things like the black plague, bubonic plague, schoolitis or had to go to historic district to study history for a authentic history presentation. Teachers loved them but made kids mad at me. I did call school with real excuses but children didn't know.
69. I have written countless notes for my kids for being absent from school over the years, but the two I remember best are as follows: "Please excuse ______ for not turning in his homework. We just got a new puppy and he ate the homework. _____ is re-doing the work and will turn it in tomorrow" (puppy really did eat the homework) And then: "Please excuse ______ for being absent yesterday. He didn't feel like going" (true note. I was fed up with my son trying to get out of school and making up excuses for him.....so they got the truth as to his absence)"
70. I really used this excuse at school: "I was late because when I woke up there was a bat flying across the ceiling of my bedroom, so I ran out of my and waited until it flew away!" They didn't believe me.
71. One of my community college students was repeatedly late for class with a different excuse on each occasion. I vowed that one more violation would result in administrative withdrawal from the course. When the student appeared 1 1/2 hours delinquent for lab, I asked what it was this time, the student replied, "My mother died on the train this morning on the way to school, so I had to go to the hospital with her." I asked nothing more. 2. While in high school, friends and I would often have coffee at Perkins Pancake House through first period, arriving at school about an hour late. One day we decided to rub engine oil on our hands and clothing for a convincing effect, reporting to the Principal's office that we needed to go home for a fresh change of clothes before attending class. On our way back to school several hours later, we in fact did suffer an automotive breakdown which caused us to report a second time to the Principal who refused to believe our explanation and suspended us for two days.
72. True as it happened to me while at University. Could not make the test today as I woke up to find my wedding ring had been thrown out accidentally while cleaning up my desk. Had to go to the dump to look for it as I was unable to catch the garbage truck on its rounds. BTW, I found the ring!
73. I am sorry I didn't finished my homework but we visited my Grandfather this weekend and his house is so old and dirty. Anyway I brought my homework with me and when I finished it I left it down on the floor. Unfortunately rats and strange insects really ate my homework paper and it was well destroyed. You understand I have to write it over from the beginning.
74. I could not make it to school today because my sister went into labor as she was driving me to school. Enclosed is a picture of my new baby niece Alexa. (They believed me because the picture I gave them was of her just coming out of the birth canal. I didn't mean to give them that one but they believed me.
75. Teacher: Why do you not have your homework? Student: My dog ate the disk my homework was on.
76. Teacher: Why don't you have your home work? You: I'm leading a protest on tree abuse, what did the trees ever do to you?
77. I could not turn in my homework because I was finishing it on the way to school and while passing a big truck it blew out the window.
78. Please excuse Mindy for being absent yesterday because she went to the doctors with me .They did accept it as excused.
79. My Grandma wrote this excuse for my uncle when he was a sophomore in High School: Please excuse Ricky from school yesterday. He had spilled gasoline on his stomach and was afraid he would explode.
80. Home-work excuses:
1) My sister ate it... (I don't really recommend you to use it.)
2) I got mugged on the way to school and they took my Bag with the homework in it. (It actually works!)
3) I Forgot to take my dog for a walk and he just [Pissed] on my Homework.
4) My Snake Died and I just wasn't in the mood for thinking.
5) My baby brother threw up on my home work.
Use these incase you are late to school.
1) I got stuck in the elevator.
2) My Alarm clock didn't work.
3) I had to piss and it just took too long.
4) My mom forgot to wake me up.
5) Didn't You feel The Earthquake?
81. Please excuse my sister/daughter from school. We told her that her mother is her grandma, her sister is her mother and daddy is still daddy this weekend and she hasn't come out of the bedroom since.
82. My 16 year old stepson got detention the other day. When my husband asked his teacher what the problem was, he was told that his son swore under his breath in the hallway. My husband said he didn't think that was such a big deal that he should get detention for it. The teacher agreed, and said the detention wasn't so much for the swearing, as it was for his excuse...which was "I only said Jesus Christ because I saw him standing there outside the window."
83. Once, we had a mouse in our house, and it managed to bite a small hole through the bottom of my backpack and then eat the edges of my chemistry work. In chemistry the next day, my teacher noticed it and kidded, "Did you get hungry?" I laughed, but then she continued, "But, really, do you have a dog or something?" I've used this for not having done French homework - it works: "Mon chien mange` mon travaille." (I can't do the accents on the pc though). It can be used for various other languages as well, ex: Spanish - "Mi perro comio` mi tarea."
84. During my senior year in high school, I took to skipping my first few classes (sometimes days). I set a record by skipping my 2nd period class (Independent Living) for 15 straight school days. In my school, you needed a note from the office to get admitted back into class after being gone. To get a note from the office, to back into class, you have to provide the office with a note from your parents. Being male, and not having good penmanship, I typically relied on my girlfriend to write my notes. On one particular day, my note read "Please excuse Robert from school yesterday, he had a obstetrician appointment". What it was suppose to say was "Please excuse Robert from school yesterday, he had an optician appointment". A number of months later, I was called back into the office to explain my abundance of absences. Laid before me, was all the notes that had been forged, with varying styles of handwriting. Of particular interest to the counselor, was the obstetrician note. Needless to say, I found myself making up some of those missed days of class over the next few Saturdays. The moral of the story: Don't let your girlfriend write your notes for you.
85. Please excuse Dan Druff from school today. He is having a bad case of Lice.
86. As an attendance clerk at our high school I hear a lot of them but my all time favorite goes like this: Why are you late? Well, I was out trying to save the world from the mad monkeys. Really? what do you mean? Well, the mad monkeys were chasing us all over the place so we stopped and tried to kill the little *!!#*!! This is for real. Needless to say, it went unexcused but you have to love the creativity! Especially the way the two told it, they both got into it and spun a tale that had us all laughing.
87. This is an excuse I had to use because it This is a genuine excuse for being late for a late morning college class. Sorry I am late. I couldn't get to class sooner because I didn't have anything acceptable to ware to class. Someone used all the working driers in the apartment building. It took too long to blow dry something. they don't want anyone leaving stuff in the machines besides so I couldn't just leave.
88. I actually used this once, and believe it or not, it is not entirely fabricated: I told my biology teacher that my futon bed broke this morning while I was sitting up to turn off my alarm clock. The supports busted and the whole thing caved in and trapped me inside. Lucky for me my phone was still on the bed so I could call my mom to come home from work and rescue me.
89. Someone I know actually used this excuse: I couldn't do my homework because it got dark outside.
90. "I didn't hear the bell" I actually used this one once for being late for Visual Arts.
91. My medical transportation didn't show up on it's scheduled time > (fake) crying & saying while I get kicked out of school for this 'cause I really want to go! < which's is an entire falsehood on my part but it's believable when I talked to them. :>)
92. True Story: In 8th grade one morning my dad left for work long before I woke up and when I did there was about 3 feet of snow on the ground! I decided that it was too harsh of weather conditions to walk 3 1/2 blocks to my bus stop- so I just stayed home. When the attendance secretary called me at home around 9:30 I explained the whole situation to her and told her that the only way I was coming to school is if she was going to come pick me up. All she said was "this is the first and last time your going to do this!"
93. I used this as an excuse when I didn't come to school for 24 days- "I was walking past the stairs and this really fat girl rolled down them and hit me. I broke my 2 rigs, my legs, and fractured my wrist." The teacher laughed and gave me an A.
94. Little Johnny was late again, teacher ask why? Little Johnny said: "It was a sign down the road." Teacher ask: "What has a sign got to do with it?" Little Johnny replied: "It said, school ahead go slow."
95. As a teacher in the local high school, I had once received a note from a boy in my 10th grade homeroom. It read: Please excuse John X. from school this afternoon, he has an appointment with his gynecologist. Mrs. X. (John's mother)
96. This was used by a lady in my Philosophy class. She came to class, said she wouldn't be in that day because after she had parked her car, and was opening her door, another car came by and ripped her car door off. (after investigation, it was discovered to be true)
97. Tell everyone around you about the large car accident (*wink-*wink) on the road, it cleared up only as we got to school.
98. Please excuse John for not being in school yesterday. He had diarrhea - the shits.
99. Overheard in a school office - girl " I don't have an excuse for being late, but here is the phone number of the man whose mailbox I hit...."
100. Sorry, my daughter Heather was not in school yesterday because we had to put our dog asleep. he was very old....