What's the best bad joke you know?

Question

I'm looking for really bad jokes (but clean ones) that I can tell my mom. She's not been feeling too well of late, and she absolutely loves bad jokes.

I'm looking for stuff like this:
Q: What did the fungus say to the alga?
A: I'm takin' a lichen to ya.

Q: What goes "Woof! Woof! Boom!"?
A: A terrierist.

Q: What did the mad chemist eat for lunch?
A: A Pb &J (lead and jelly) sandwich.

Anyway, they've got to be clean, and they've got to be really bad. What are your best bad jokes?

Answer 1

Q: What do clouds wear under their clothes?

A: Thunderwear



Q: What does a cat sleep on?

A: A caterpillow .



Q: What happens when two snails fight?

A: They slug it out.



Q: What insect is good at math?

A: An account-ant .



Q: How did the artist paint a picture?

A: Easel-y



Q: How do French poodles greet each other?

A: Bone-jour.



Q: If two collars had a race, how would it end?

A: In a tie.



Q: What kind of lettuce did they serve on the titanic?

A: Iceberg .



Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

A: "Do you smell carrot?"



Q: Why would you take a hammer to bed?

A: So you could hit the sack.



.. Hope your mom feels better :)

Answer 2

Q: Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?

A: All the fans have left.





Q: Why is a lost dalmation easily found?

A: Because he's always spotted.





Q: What did the hot dog say when he won the contest?

A: I'm the wiener!





Q: Why did the spider log on to the computer?

A: He wanted to go to his web-site.

Answer 3

That grow to be lovable, and clever, i could purchase one rapid quickly too (however I already have one, yet ought to you think of the youngster stuttering and shouting whilst you're attempting to do different issues?). That grow to be humorous. the place did you get it?

Answer 4

q. What's red and fluffy?

a. Red fluff!

-x-X-x-

q. What's the difference between an elephant and an asprin?

a. They're both small, white and smooth except for the elephant.

-x-X-x-

q. Why did the boy wear green socks?

a. His blue ones were dirty.

Answer 5

A mushroom goes up to this girl in a bar and says would you like to go out with me. And she says no but overall your a fun guy.

Answer 6

Which building has the most stories?

The library



Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight (ate) nine!



Knock knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Oh, don't cry.





Yep, these are really bad!

I hope your mom likes them!

Answer 7

kay well heres a really bad harry potter joke....



knock knock

who's there?

you know

you know who?

yes! avada kadavra!



knock knock

who's there?

boo

boo who?

oh don't cry, its only a joke



Q. whats black, white, and red all over

A. a newspaper

Answer 8

k so there is a teacher and the bell rang and ten minutes later a boy with out a shirt came in and the teacher said where have you been and he said on top of cherry hill so he goes and sits down five minutes later a boy with no pants comes in and the teacher said where have you been and he says on top of cherry hill so another five minutes a boy with no clothes comes in and she asks where have been and says on top of cherry hill so she says class we have a new student today and a girl with no clothes comes in and says hi I'm cherry hill

Answer 9

This one is really bad ..... i heard it the other day ...

Did you hear they was calling all trappers to Washington DC?

There is a coon trying to get in the white house

Dont give me thumbs down i didnt make it up i heard it ...

Answer 10

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?



ell if I know

Answer 11

did u hear about the one legged leady going down the street yelling i-hop?

Answer 12

y did the chicken cross the road?

so he can get to the other side

Answer 13

this one is so bad that it's hardly even a joke - it just makes a laugh



you "Ask me if I'm a tree"

them " ???...... are you a tree?"

you - look at them like thy're dumb for asking you if you're a tree and blurt out "NO !!!! ? !! - do I look like im a tree !?!?!??? "



and you look at them like they're retarded or something



LOL

Answer 14

Q:What was a pig doing in the kitchen?

A:Bacon.



yeah...

Answer 15

why the tomato turn red? he saw the salad dressing

Answer 16

what did peter say to the ugly thing



Meg go to your room



(family guy)

Answer 17

its too long to type





i have this one but is racist and im not saying it

very bad and cruel

Answer 18

knock knock-

who's there?

olive-

olive who?

olive you! : P

Answer 19

Two Jews walk into a bar................... they buy it.