types of computer viruses!!! lol!?

Question

Types of computer viruses
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.

Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.

Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Dan Quayle virus: Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a binary network.

Dan Quayle virus: Simplye addse ane ee toe everye worde youe typee..

David Duke virus: Makes your screen go completely white.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

George Bush virus: Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Jerry Brown virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.

Madonna virus: If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!

Mario Cuomo virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.

New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Nike virus: Just Does It!

Ollie North virus: Turns your printer into a document shredder.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

Pat Buchanan virus: Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.

Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

Paul Tsongas virus: Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".

Richard Nixon virus: Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus", you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.

Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

Ross Perot virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.

Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.

Ted Turner virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

Terry Randle virus: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side for the state of the system.

Warren Commission virus: Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.

Answer 1

Those are funny, but old. Need to update a bit with current virus issues:



Obama virus: Alerts screen that your computer has changed, though strangely nothing has happened. Can't find its source code.



Sarah Palin virus: Errors itself onscreen due to speed issues. Stops being a virus and starts documenting everything, hoping it will be useful later.



Michael Phelps virus: Outperforms computer processors, then goes blue screen around drug paraphrenalia.



Al Gore virus: Alerts screen that computer will be too hot soon and you can't stop it. Harmless.



Lady GaGa virus: Quickly gets computer moving choppily at new rhythm speed using garbage source code. Changes fonts to barely readable text. Annoying. Motherboard feigns activity like a fatherboard.



Tony Kornheiser virus: Computer overreacts online to short skirts. Can't turn it off.

Answer 2

2

Answer 3

When I was younger, I was gullible and believed in that kind of stuff; like people being the antichrist or the government trying to take over the world. I now know that this is absurd. Oprah Winfrey is not Satan, she is a TV personality that also happens to be good at speaking and amazing viewers. She has not done anything "evil." Remember, there are real people behind the celebrities you watch on TV. They have lives. They aren't bent on taking over the world either (most of them). If you want to know about someone, try and meet them, don't just formulate ideas about them and concoct conspiracy theories. You may just find that the person is completely different than you expected. :D

Answer 4

the viruses were coolest.......

thanks







I thought you left couple of more: like~~~~



Wife Virus: doesn't harm computer but makes a larger expenses

Saddam Hussein virus: Is harmless but very difficult to find.

Osama Virus: Dose one big effect once a while and clams down

Obama Virus: It brings a change

Socialist virus: Makes every file equal size