1. The height of an Aussie Kiss:
~~ Similar to a French kiss, but given down under.
2. The height of Beer Coat:
~~ The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
3. The height of vanity;
~~ Climaxing and calling out your own name
4. The height of a bad day:
~~ Husband ran off with his secretary,
Son pierced his eyebrow,
Daughter tattooed the bald spot on her head,
Dog mated with the neighbor's cat,
Neighbor sold her house to a mental institution,
Mom told me I was adopted,
Dad told me he's gay,
Boss told me I was laid off,
Sister was arrested for prostitution,
House has termites,
Car was stolen,
All that came in the mail was bills,
A plane, crash-landed on the garage,
OJ Simpson came to the door selling rug cleaner,
And the TV blew…
5. The height of a Beer Compass:
~~ The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too fucked up to remember where you live, how you get there, and where you've come from.
6. The height of masturbation:
~~ Vigorous hand-to-gland combat.
7. The height of noise:
~~ Two skeletons making love on a hot tin roof.
8. The height of speed:
~~ A guy running round a tree trying to f#ck his own @ss.
9. The height of Globalization:
~~ Princess Diana…An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel driven by a Belgian driver, in a German car who was high on Scottish whisky, followed closely by an Italian Paparazzi, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian
medicines,...............Dies!!!!!!!
10. The height of boredom
~~ You reading this & passing it on