ughhh im super depressed tell me your funniest jokes!?

Question

tell me some of ur fav jokes!!!!
and toon in to see which one the besttt

Answer 1

a group of blonde's and a group of brunettes were going on a trip in london..they got a double decker bus..brunettes took the lower seat while the blonde's took the upper deck...after a few minutes a brunette noticed the blonde's were awfully quiet,,,so a brunette went up and noticed all the blonde's were frozen to their seats and looking straight ahead..the brunette asked what was wrong..one blonde said we are scared...we don't have a driver...hahahaha

Answer 2

ok there is 2 guys hunting in the forest. Its a hot day and one of the guys faints. So the other one calls the hospital... the nurse said, "First you have to check if he is dead" the nurse waits on the phone, then she hears a single shot. The guy comes back on the phone and says, "Now what?"

Answer 3

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.



The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!"



The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."

Answer 4

A man was feeling very depressed and walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch whiskey. As the bartender poured him the drink he remarked, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's wrong?"



After quickly downing his drink, the man replied, "I got home and found my wife having sex with my best friend."



"Wow," exclaimed the bartender, as he poured the man a second triple scotch. "No wonder you needed a stiff drink. The second triple is on the house."



As the man downed his second triple scotch, the bartender asked him, "What did you do?"



"I walked over to my wife," the man replied, "looked her straight in the eye and told her that we were through and to pack her stuff and to get the hell out."



"That makes sense," said the bartender, "but what about your friend?"



The man replied, "I walked over to him, looked him right in the eye and said, 'BAD DOG!'

Answer 5

Watch Family Guy!

Answer 6

bart: may i speak to huginkiss, first name amanda



moe: is there amanda huginkiss anywhere? amanda huginkiss? i need 'a man da hug and kiss"



hahah i love that one!





how do you drown a blonde?



stick a mirror at the bottom of a pool!

Answer 7

A bear, a rabbit and a ferret are all sitting in the woods talking and the ferret says

"God don't you hate it when you take a dump and you get **** all in your fur?"

And the bear says "Nope that never happens to me"

Leans over grabs the rabbit and wipes his ***.



=] sorry if its lame hah.

Answer 8

''Their once was a Man form mantucket, his di*k was so long he could suck it, he said with a grin as it rolled down his chin, if his ear was a cu*t he'd fu*k it.''



lol its kind of dirty.



here is another: ''Their once was a lady form Kansas city she had freckles on her titti*s'' lol.



And another ;]



''Your Mom is a gun, give her a cock and she blows'' lol



hope i helped :]

When i heard all of these a laughed so hard i cried lol.

Answer 9

what do you call teeth that dont bite-not teeth

what do you call a bad singer/songwriter- katie perry

how many yzmas does it take to screw in a light bulb-none, she just turns it into a llama

Answer 10

a joke i posted here a long time ago. looks like its funny enough it got quite a lot of response ;p



https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20071122093142AAebvSs



cheers mate!

Answer 11

here is a link to "the best ofs" on craigslist.com

some of the listing are soooo funny.

read a few of them and i guarantee you that they will cheer you up!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/







I hope this helps

=)