Question:
What's Your Funniest Little Johnny Joke??
2008-08-30 14:30:49 UTC
Mine would have to be:

Little Johnny was at school one day, and his teacher asked the class to use the word definitely in a sentence.
One little girl put up her hand and said
'The sky is definitely blue'
'That's not quite right' said the teacher 'because sometimes it's grey, but good try'
Then Little Johnny raises his hand, and says to the teacher:
'Miss, do farts have chunks?'
'No Johnny' replies the teacher
'Well then I've DEFINITELY just s**t myself'

I know I didn't tell it very well, but it cracks me up =)
Nine answers:
2008-08-31 00:23:00 UTC
teacher says to the class whoever gets my question right gets a mars bar. OK when was the battle of Hastings, little johnny puts his hand up

but the teacher looks the other way and says right jenny you answer,

to which she replied 1066, teacher says very good a mars bar for you.

next question, when was the battle of agincourt, little johnny puts his hand up but is overlooked again and bob answers 1415 teacher says

very good a mars bar for you. one more question says the teacher,

this time little johnny is getting annoyed and accidently spills his

dark coloured marbles all over the floor, the teacher looks around and

shouts OK whos got black balls and little johnny puts his hand up

and shouts out Nat King Cole give me my fckin mars bar
2008-08-31 15:34:17 UTC
Little Lucy was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class.



One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Lucy, who created the universe?" When Lucy didn't stir, Little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.



"God Almighty! " shouted Lucy and the teacher said, "Very good," and Lucy fell back asleep.



A while later the teacher asked Lucy, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" But, Lucy didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.



"Jesus Christ!" shouted Lucy and the teacher said, "Very good," and Lucy fell back asleep.



Then the teacher asked Lucy a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? And again, Johnny Jabbed her with the pin. This time Lucy jumped up and shouted,



"If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
2008-08-30 16:03:01 UTC
Caught Short



Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you would let me go piss, you'd be a ten!"
projetkarma
2008-08-30 15:33:02 UTC
Little Johnny asked his dad "Dad, what's love juice"?



Dad was alittle taken aback



Dad decided that it was right to explain the meaning rather than avoid the question, and find that his son could learn the wrong meaning in the school playground.



So Dad diplomatically and red faced explained the concept of the male and female getting together and having sex, with a full and frank explanation of what love juice was.



Afterwards Dad asked Johnny where he had heard it from



Johnny replied. "I was watching Wimbledon the other day, and that is was the man said on telly"
Becca
2008-08-30 14:40:11 UTC
LOL! That joke always makes me laugh! I just love the Little Johnny Jokes.
person.
2008-08-31 11:47:12 UTC
Little Johnny's class were learning the alphabet, when he really needed to pee.

"Miss can I go to the loo?" Little Johnny asked.

"Only if you can recite the alphabet"

"Fine. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ" he heads towards the door.

"Johnny! Where's the p?" his teacher calls.

Little Johnny turns around and replies,

"Halfway down my fcuking leg!"
Stella
2008-08-30 14:37:37 UTC
Little Johnny was walking to school one day, when he saw a guy get bit by a snake. The gardener said, "Oh, mushrooms."

Little Johnny thought that was funny. When Little Johnny was at school in his kindergarten class, the teacher asked him, "Johnny, what's 2 + 2?"

Little Johnny replied, “2 + 2 is five.”

The teacher said he was wrong, and Little Johnny said, “Oh, mushrooms.”

The teacher got mad and sent Little Johnny to the principal’s office. When he got there, the principal said, “May I ask why you got sent to my office?”

Little Johnny replied, “I said ‘Oh, mushrooms’ in class today.” The principal got mad and expelled him from the school. When he got home, his mother said “Why did you get kicked out of school, Little Johnny?”

Little Johnny said, “I said ‘Oh, mushrooms’ in class today.” His mom got mad and sent him to his room until his father came home. When his dad came home, he said, “What happened?”

Once again, Little Johnny replied, “I said ‘Oh, mushrooms’ in class today.”

His dad got so mad that he kicked Little Johnny out of the house. So Little Johnny was walking down the street, when a police officer pulls over and says, “Aren’t you a little young to be out walking around at a time like this?”

Little Johnny said, “I got kicked out of the house today because I said ‘Oh, mushrooms’ in class today.” The police officer arrested him and sent him to jail for 25 years later.

25 years later, Little Johnny was released from jail and he saw one of his classmates from kindergarten across the street. Johnny was happy to see someone he knew, so he started to walk across the street but he got hit by a car.



The moral of this story is to look both ways before you cross the street!
Elfin
2008-08-30 15:40:28 UTC
in class teacher askes pupils to put "lovely" into a sentense,

little mary puts her hand up,

we went on a picnic on sunday and it was lovely.

teacher says, veery good, now put two lovelys in one sentense,

little johnny says,"my sister came home last night and said she was pregnant" my dad said, "lovely, fecking lovely"
?
2016-10-01 14:40:08 UTC
i replaced into eating water when I examine this and my chum replaced into next to me. i spit water on her. o.o this made me snigger like loopy. she replaced into like "Is there something incorrect with you?...... youre beginning as much as scare me" lol :)


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